Ego Pollen

In typical Wade fashion, the group is now introduced to a pretty nifty idea, ego pollen. This boy (or should I say Cowboy?) wonder managed to concoct a term that I think best describes the normal pattern of men when they transition from one stage to another. For better or worse, men grow accustomed to certain characteristics found in each phase, and naturally carry them into the next. Sometimes it's a conscious decision, while at other times it's unbeknownst to him. The obvious question associated with this notion and posited by my good friend is who should be responsible for determining which stage the man is in? What is more, who determines when he has successfully moved into the next one?
In my opinion, the most important accountability partner for a man when assessing his current status is his "inner man." While this isn't nearly as catchy as ego pollen, I think we can all learn a thing or two when letting our conscience be our guide. It's very plausible that Eldredge's lack of attention on identifying individuals who help determine where a man is in his life could be intentional, so as not to force us to seek them out for answers. Moreover, because men have different types of relationships with other men, the author might give men free reign when choosing their "masculine mentor" or "stage guide." Personally, I think it's my responsibility as a man, and child of God, to do a self-assessment, or masculine gut-check, to see where I am at that moment, as well as where I've been and want to go. Knowing the various characteristics and tendencies associated with each stage enables reflective thinking; however, this is not the only method that should be used. In scripture, Christian men are called to hold each other accountable, and this is a great method for doing so.
Example: If a particular issue or problem takes center stage in my life, I instinctively think of what I did right or wrong; yet, it's impossible for me to garner all the answers. Throughout our friendship, Wade and I have often expressed our thoughts and feelings with each other (I know this sounds kind of feminine guys, but stay with me) and what I have found is that HE has aided me in assessing where I'm successful in life or falling short. While it's easy for me to talk myself out of certain things or feel like a failure, Wade has been there to provide objective interpretation and steer me in the right direction.
So, in an attempt to answer Wade's questions, I think it's my responsibility to assess where I'm at in my life, as well as yours. A wise old sage once said you can't go through life alone. In that spirit, this group is here to help each other through [every stage in a man's] life. The best way to do this is identifying the "stage habits" in a man's life.
What do you think?

The Masculine Journey Cont'd

As exciting and fun as the first three phases of a man's life might be, I think it's these last three that will really define him and determine the "legacy" we all seek to leave.
Lover - This is an area of life that men tend to either focus too much on, or completely miss altogether. Not limited just to loving the woman, this stage awakens men to the beauty of life in general; however, it is during this phase that men focus on women, particularly offering himself to her.
King - Seriously, who wouldn't want to be seen as a King??? Whatever your "kingdom" might be, this is a period where you're in charge of people, whether as a boss, father, coach, etc. You rule over these people, and they look to you for answers or solutions. Although you are seen as the "head honcho" or "big man on campus", this is a time of great responsibility and accountability. This, along with being a Lover, are two of the most tumultuous phases because the decisions you make and the actions you take can have the greatest long-term impact on those around you.
Sage - When I think of a Sage, I'm reminded of the great ancient philosophers. Men like Plato and Aristotle established much of the concepts we still use to interpret and understand the world around us. There are probably several men in your personal life, or in America, that you look to for advice. The knowledge they impart to you seems to make life easier to understand, especially when going through tough times. Their "been there, done that" advice gives you what is needed to better navigate your way through each day. Some may say that it's in the sunset of a man's life that he reaches this phase, but I say it could begin as quickly as when he moves on to the next stage.
I have now summarized the 6 stages that Eldredge ascribes to each man's life. Next, I'm going to discuss some pros and cons to them and how other men can affect how long he stays in each one. Wade has touched on this issue in his post, but I'm sure he's got even more thoughts on the matter, as this is the crux of the chapter.
FYI, another good friend and former Marine, Barrett, is joining the discussion. For his thoughts on the book, and the Wild Heart in general, you can visit his blog at:
http://veteran.typepad.com/this_veteran_life/
Take care.

Ch. 1: The Masculine Journey

LET THE BLOGGING BEGIN!!!

So, are you a Boy, Cowboy, Warrior, Lover, King or Sage??? If you're wondering how Eldredge defines each of these stages in a man's life, here's a brief synopsis of each category; however, it should be noted that the author doesn't really pinpoint a certain age to each phase, but tries to narrow it down to a decade or experience.
Boy - Pretty self explanatory, since a boy is a boy. He's discovering the world around him, despite being somewhat sheltered by his parents; yet, he's allowed to act his age and discover himself with little to no consequences.
Cowboy - Throughout his teenage years into his late twenties, he begins to push his limits and prepare himself for the future. I, just like the guys Eldredge describes in the book, learned how to drive, play sports, explored the many facets of college life, and started to develop lifelong goals.
Warrior - I know what you're thinking, but just because I'm a soldier in the Army doesn't necessarily mean I'm in this stage, or that just because you're not in the military, you can't be in this stage. A Warrior, I argue, is someone who finds his passion or interests and seeks them out. It could be a career, a hobby, or simply a challenge in life that you want to conquer. Although men always want to be seen as a Warrior, this stage is more prominent in his thirties or maybe forties. He learns the rigors of discipline needed to be successful, both in life and beyond.
Before moving on to the other three phases, I want to reflect on my time as a Boy and a Cowboy. Having two older sisters, I have to admit that I was forced to play and even act like a girl, albeit very reluctantly! About the time I became a Cowboy, I was able to defend myself better and make my own decisions, but luckily those instances were few and far between. I made a lot of mistakes as a Cowboy, but ones that I think helped develop me into the Warrior I strive to be each day, but I'm more concerned about being a Warrior for Christ, not my country. These decisions will forever overshadow anything I do on the battlefield.
After you read this, take some time to think about your life during each of these three stages and maybe how they helped prepare you for the next one.
Tomorrow, I'll discuss the next three and how important they are to being a father.
Take care.

Following The Wild Heart

It was shortly after New Year's in 2007 that my close friend Wade bought me a book called "Wild At Heart" by John Eldredge. This book has not only altered my life, but more importantly, my way of thinking. I can point to it as somewhat of a catalyst for getting me to where I am today, for better or worse (but mainly for the better). What Eldredge has sought to do throughout his many writings is evoke the Godly characteristics of masculinity within each man that has been long suppressed by modern culture and society.

Rather than provide a redundant summation of our relationship, I'll point you to Wade's blog http://www.tnfodder.blogspot.com/, which encapsulates just how close we've become in our roughly four years of friendship. The only thing Wade failed to mention is how much older he is than me (8 years). However, if we were standing side by side, you'd think I was older than him!

If there are still any people out there who take the time to read my posts, I ask that you also make it a point to visit Wade's because over the next several weeks, the two of us will be posting our own personal thoughts and opinions on another one of Eldredge's books, "The Way of the Wild Heart." Somewhat of an addendum to his first publication on the subject, Eldredge provides a "map" for the masculine journey. Rather than providing a step by step process that so many other authors try to propose, this author seeks to give readers "a lay of the land" and let them determine the route.

Let there be no mistake, these books are not about trying to become more manly, as guys who like to hunt, fish, watch football and drink beer aren't necessary men. Each male is divinely infused with certain characteristics that can only be found in a man of God, and it's our responsility to seek them out, not only for ourselves, but for our friends and family.

If any of you out there are interested in reading these books or just learning more about the book, I strongly encourage you to periodically visit our blogs. Both Wade and I hope to grow deeper in our faith and friendship with each other, but also provide encouragement for every man our there who wants to find what their heart is longing for.

Stay tuned, the fun is about to begin!

You'll Always Be Home Sweet Home To Me

Before delving into The Way of the Wild Heart, I wanted to post a quick story about a great trip I took with my childhood friend Freight train. When I first moved to Jefferson City in 1988, Train was one of the first people I've met, and through thick and thin, we've remained good friends ever since.

Recently, the two of us did an overnighter up in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. Although we didn't get very far into the Park on Saturday, we quickly set up camp and try to build a fire. Despite the mounds of wood we'd collected, it was all too wet to burn; however, I managed to spot a downed tree that was covering a dry patch of dry deadwood and some tinder. We got enough of a fire going to cook our hot dogs, but that was about it. With our bellies warmed from the food, we hit the sack for the night.

We spent most of Sunday hiking all the way up to Thunderhead Mountain, where the Appalachian Trail runs right along the NC/TN border. Not only does this trail have a magnificent view, but it also houses some beloved UT history. The second peak of Thunderhead Mountain just so happens to be ROCKY TOP!!! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Train and I took our passion for the Volunteers to new heights (pun intended) and below is our tribute to the Big Orange.

The only person I know that's topped this is Train's mother-in-law, who hoofed a Banjo up to Rocky Top and play the greatest fight song in the country while sitting on its hallowed grounds!

Hope you enjoyed. Take care.

Happy Birthday To Them!

For those of you who don't already know, today my beautiful bride turns 29. Although I'm sure not very many people would want to broadcast the infamous last birthday of one's twenties, I still think it's important to acknowledge this special day.
You might also be interested in knowing that today is her brother Jonathan's birthday....but they're not twins!!! Today is Jonathan's 32nd birthday, and these two individuals are the only ones I know that are not twins, yet have the same birthday. Pretty neat, huh? Leslie will tell everyone that she was the best birthday present Jonathan ever got, but I'm sure he'll beg to differ.
What's even funnier is that if you count back from their birthday 9 months, you come to the month of June...which just so happens to be their parents' anniversary!!! HAHAHAHA!!!
Happy birthday Leslie and Jonathan. I'm so glad I married you honey and thanks to Jonathan for keeping her alive all these years!
Take care.

EQO

I believe I've mentioned in an earlier post that one of the many duties I've been assigned since returning to Post is that of the Environmental Quality Officer for the Squadron. The title alone is pretty self-explanatory, but I'm sure it's hard for many to believe that the Army even cares about the environment. Well, in some cases, it doesn't; but when it comes to CONUS installations, such as Fort Campbell, they are required to follow almost all federal regulatory policies regarding the environment.
This week I have been attending the EQO course that "certifies" soldiers to take on the responsibility of ensuring that their respective units are adherring to federal law. Moreover, we have been learning a lot about how all the various departments on the installation aid and assist in maintaining the proper procedures. For instance, you'd be surprised to know that Fort Campbell recycles its own water, solid waste, and the like. Because people, like me and the wife, live on post, there are several programs involved in providing us with the necessary amenities afforded to people who live off-post. These are things like, garbage pickup, recycling, water provision, etc. At least 1/4 of the over 25,000 people who work on this installation are in some way involved in these various services. While I could spend hours explaining all the different things that the Army does to help the environment, I won't bore you with the details. I just think it's good for you "civilians" to know that the military is doing its part in helping preserve Mother earth.
Have you hugged an environmentally conscious soldier lately???
HA!
Take care.