RealTNVolunteer

The Final Stretch

2012-01-31T04:04:00.000-08:00

Well, I finally made it back to Orgun-E last Thursday and am getting settled back into my normal routine. It took 10 days to make it from Knoxville to my "home away from home", which is about 6 days longer than it should have been. Although I enjoyed more time away from work, not having much cold weather gear during a snowstorm made things a little uncomfortable.
Several of you have asked when I'll be back home for good. I wish I had a confirmed answer, but the movement back to the States is still up in the air at this point. I'm hoping to be back in the States in about 3 months and then back in Knoxville no later than mid-May. As soon as I get more information, I'll definitely pass it along. For now, just pray I make it through this final stretch in the deployment. Can't wait to begin the next chapter of my life!

R&R

2011-12-22T06:44:00.000-08:00

Having missed Halloween (which isn't that big a deal for me), Veteran's Day (again, not that big a deal), Thanksgiving and Ellie's second birthday (yep, these are some biggies), it's no surprise that I won't be home for Christmas (pretty HUGE holiday for my family). However, I'm happy to announce that I will be leaving tomorrow to begin making my way home for R&R.
Although it's going to take roughly a week for me to touch down in K-town, I'm pretty excited about the prospect of going home and seeing family and friends. Although I have a tendency to become impatient with the "hurry up and wait" mentality of the Army, it's going to be nice to not have to work this next week and then have 15 days to just focus on being a husband, father, son, brother and friend. It stinks that I won't be home to enjoy this time of year with many of you; however, I take comfort in knowing that it won't be much longer until I'm holding my baby girl and beautiful wife!

My Baby Girl Turns 2

2011-12-17T20:49:00.000-08:00

The song "I'd Do Anything (A Soldier's Lament)" by the John Butler Trio speaks EXACTLY to what I'm going through right now. Butler is singing from the point of view of a Soldier who's serving in Afghanistan, trying to keep himself together despite being in the throws of war and away from his most important possession, his family. There's even a verse where he says:

It's a little girl's birthday, and yes we are apart -
Ain't gonna make a big deal out of it, but it breaks my heart.

I bring this up because today is Ellie's second birthday. Right now, this day doesn't quite resonate with her the way it will when she's older. Nonetheless, it's a special day for her and I'm not there to help celebrate. I am very grateful for all the family and friends who are helping Leslie celebrate our baby girl's birthday; however, I still cannot shake the fact that I won't be not there. These are the times when it's difficult to accept the fact that I made the decision to go on this deployment. There is nothing in the world (aside from my relationship with Christ) more important than my family. I just hope and pray that this is the last time I miss any more of her special days.

I love you, EB!

JC

In The Bonds

2011-12-11T04:05:00.001-08:00

In the Spring of my Junior Year at Maryville College, I pledged the Mu Chi chapter of Delta Kappa Epsilon. Despite being in a national service Fraternity while at CNC (Alpha Phi Omega), I was in search of an organization at my new school that promoted both public service and brotherhood. I definitely got that when I pledged and became a Deke.
It's been almost 10 years since I graduated from college, and I am sorry to say that I've lost touch with many of my "brothers". However, shortly after arriving in East Paktika I found out that LT Patrick King, of the United States Navy, was more than just a co-worker and office mate. In 2005, Pat graduated from Virginia Tech, where he was a member of the Sigma Alpha chapter of DKE!
These past few months have been somewhat tumultuous, but it's been much easier to bear with a fellow brother. Although we're from two different branches of military service, and frequently bash each other's chosen path, our relationship is eerily similar to those guys who I considered my family back in college. It's good to know that brotherhood can transcend stages of life.

Love Is The Road

2011-12-04T03:30:00.000-08:00

As a kid, I probably had 10 different career ambitions. My mom likes to tell the story of when I told her I wanted to be a Cowboy when I grew up. Not a Dallas Cowboy, but an actual Cowboy. Not sure that's really an option any more; but, it didn't take long before I was on to something else, like baseball, football or (I'm embarrassed to say this now) politics.
While many of us might have a hidden ambition to do something on a grand scale, we easily get overwhelmed by the many obstacles that stand in our way. For some, it's the fear of failure, while for others it might be a lack of personal confidence. Either way, it's easy to dream about what could happen, but taking the initiative to make it happen is another matter.
Two of my very dear friends have just taken a very bold step and I'd like to tell you about it. Jason and Lena (Hood) Cox met in college at Belmont University. Both had a deep passion for music and both had dreams of launching a career in the music industry. Jason had been writing and performing songs on the Christian music scene for a number of years, and Lena released a solo EP a couple of years ago; however, they didn't feel like they were reaching their full potential.
Shortly after I returned from my tour in Iraq, Leslie and I started doing monthly double dates with the Cox's. Over many dinners and too many cups of coffee, Jason and Lena expressed a desire to start a country music duet called Ragdoll. Anyone in the industry will tell you that breaking onto the country music scene is a huge risk because it takes a lot of money, time, energy, networking, money, meetings, begging, borrowing, (did I mention money?) to record and promote an album.
After countless hours of writing and recording, Jason and Lena are proud to announce the release of their first album "Love Is The Road" on Tuesday, December 6th.
I don't want you to think that I'm writing this to help promote their work and encourage you to buy their album, which is being sold on iTunes, Amazon and other digital outlets. (Okay, that's part of the reason I'm writing this!) Rather, my main intent is to highlight their willingness to take some serious risks to pursue a lifelong passion. I admire their courage, ambition and desire to share their songs with the world. Moreover, despite going into the secular music industry, you will undoubtedly notice their undying devotion to their Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
If you are in to music from the heart and soul, you won't be disappointed with their album. It's got some great upbeat songs about being a Southerner (which many of your reading this are Hillbillies!), as well as some sweet love songs that will make you long for the warm embrace of your significant other.
I hope everyone will at least take the time to visit their website www.ragdollcountry.com, or watch their first video "Rainshine" (a personal favorite of mine) on YouTube, and give them some positive words of encouragement as they begin this awesome journey. Jason and Lena, I love you guys and am so proud of this step you have taken. I look forward to many more two-steps and trifectas when I get home!

Thanksgiving...on Friday???

2011-11-20T08:27:00.000-08:00

When you're on a deployment during the holiday season (or any holiday, for that matter) the days seem to run together, making it easy to forget that a holiday is approaching. However, when it comes to a moment of celebration, especially when a meal is part of the tradition, there are times that missions can take a backseat. However, there are also times when combat operations must take precedence. Case in point: Thanksgiving is traditionally celebrated on the last Thursday of November; however, due to an important series of operations in my AO, the Command Group has decided to delay the Thanksgiving meal until Friday. This is primarily because so many people will be spread throughout the battlefield that they would miss out on the meal if it were to take place on Thursday.
So, while many of you reading this will be standing in line, waiting for your favorite store to open on Black Friday, I'll be in the DFAC, eating some turkey and dressing. The only thing missing will some football games playing in the background and some quality time with the family. Of course, if the Armed Forces Network (AFN) chooses to replay the Turkey Day games, I won't be missing any football!
Happy Thanksgiving everybody!!!

11-11-11

2011-11-10T21:16:00.000-08:00

Well, this is the second time I've been deployed on Veterans Day. The first time, when I was in Iraq, I was only a few weeks from going home. This time, however, I'm not even half-way through my tour! Although I would love to be a little closer to ending this journey, I'm still very thankful for the opportunity to serve my country during such trying times.
On Memorial Day, I posted a message about how easy it is for people to focus thanking men and women in uniform for their service, rather than acknowledging that Memorial Day is reserved for honoring our fallen brothers and sisters. Today, on the other hand, is for celebrating all of those who have put on a uniform. I'm extremely grateful for all of you who have supported and prayed for me throughout my military career. My hope is that today will be the last time I celebrate Veterans Day as an active service member. Rather, I hope that this time next, I'm thanked for what I DID, not what I am DOING!
Happy Veterans Day!
JC

TN Army Wife

2011-11-01T22:38:00.000-07:00

I believe I've already stated this before on my blog, but it's merits deserve further mention. THE toughest job in the military is being the spouse of a deployed service member. In my case, Leslie has a more difficult job than I will ever fathom in theater. Yes, there are moments when my life has been in danger; however, those events pale in comparison my wife's daily struggle to hold down "the fort" while I am away.
For all intents and purposes, right now Leslie is a single parent. Since I am not there to do much of what the other parent does (or should do), she bears the burden of being both the nurturer and discipliner. What is more, Ellie is at that stage in her life where she needs greater oversight and attention. Despite her bubbly personality and charm, she has her moments of being a little monster. As desperately as I want to be there to both attend to Ellie and support Leslie, I am half a world away, busy fighting my own set of little monsters.
Throughout the lead up to my deployment, I've had numerous people come up to me and thank ME for MY service. Yes, I'm doing something that a fraction of our nation's population has ever done; yet, I cannot shake the fact that my wife is making a sacrifice far greater than anything I will ever do over here. Although it's easy to look at my circumstances and say that I'm making a huge sacrifice, I ask that you please consider how much the most important person in my life is sacrificing on a daily basis.
A good friend of mine who is a singer/songwriter in Nashville wrote a song called "She Lives To Give." It's a story about a wife and mother who embodies selflessness and love. Every time I listen to it, I think about Leslie and what she means to me. She is truly a Proverbs 31 wife and I am so blessed to have her in my life. Lord knows where I'd be without her. Luckily I don't ever have to worry about that!
I would like to ask a favor. If you're reading this, please take some time to thank Leslie for HER service. It can be something as simple as a Facebook post, text message, phone call or even just a prayer for her during these trying times. She deserves praise and consideration for her actions far more than I do.
Leslie, I love you and thank God you are my soul mate. Hopefully you will accept this simple message as a token of my love and appreciation for you. You are my everything.
JC

Happy Anniversary To Me!

2011-10-27T22:35:00.000-07:00

When it comes to remembering anniversaries, everybody has their list special dates. Just about everybody can remember their birthday (4/25), the first date of a loved one (1/9), weddings (6/26), and their children's birthdays (12/18). We mark them on our calendars, scribble reminders in planners or input them into an electronic device that we carry on our persons.
One special date that I have always remembered is the day I joined the military. While I wouldn't consider it a "special" day, nonetheless it's a date that has marked much of my life since the day I "since signed my life away."
Today is my eight year anniversary and a very, very special one. Why? Because it means that I have successfully completed my military service obligation (MSO) and am no longer required to serve in the military. Now, I know what you're thinking. This doesn't mean I can jump on the first helicopter I see and get out of Afghanistan. Rather, it means that once I am done with my service here, I can resign my commission and hang up my combat boots.
It's been a bittersweet ride over these past eight years. I've had good days and definitely a few bad ones. While I might complain about this whole process, I do not regret the commitment I made all those years ago. I am proud to say that I have served my country (and will continue to do so for several more months); however, I believe the time has come for us to part ways. There are so many other things in life that I want to do and none of them are able to accommodate continued service in the Armed Forces.
I would like to thank my family, especially my wife who's been with me the whole way. Come to think of it, I've been married to the military longer than Leslie! I'd also like to thank my friends who have supported us throughout this journey. I've lived in four states and four countries in these eight years, and I wouldn't change any of the experiences. I've made several close friends and lost a few along the way. Although my time isn't completely over, I take comfort in knowing that it will be ending soon...and boy am I going to celebrate!

Sobering Reminders

2011-10-20T08:51:00.001-07:00

One terrible thing about being in a combat environment is that sometimes you forget you are at war. Things tend to work much like the movie Groundhog Day, where you get up everyday and do pretty much the same thing. However, sometimes there are events that bring you back to reality. Yesterday was one of those days.
I think I've mentioned them before, but the Provincial Reconstruction Team (PRT) in Paktika has a team in the East and the West. I work closely with the guys in the East, as we share an office. Yesterday, on a typical road inspection patrol, two members of the team in the West were killed by an IED. Moreover, a young boy around the age of 12 was struck by a bullet that ricocheted off a berm at one of our ranges. The bullet entered one of his cheeks and got lodged at the base of his skull, breaking his neck. Luckily he still alive, but was evacuated to Bagram Air Field to receive treatment and has not seen any of his family since leaving OE. Today, I had to tell his older brother and cousin that he is in stable condition, but it will be a while before they can see him. In both cases, these people were going through their normal routines; yet they were just in the wrong place, at the wrong time.
Complacency is a disease that can permeate every aspect of life in theater. When you first show up here, you are keenly aware of every loud noise, whether it's incoming or outgoing artillery, or merely a door that closes to hard and rattles the walls. However, you become so used to that kind of stuff that you forget the fact that death and destruction may be lurking over the shoulder. Thinking too much about that can drive you insane, yet forgetting it can be just as deadly.

FOB Tillman

2011-10-13T06:23:00.000-07:00

On Monday, I flew out to one of our unit's other operating bases, FOB Tillman. In case you're wondering, it was named after former NFL player and Army Ranger Pat Tillman. The FOB is situated in a valley between a couple of mountains and is a stone's throw (or rocket lob, as you'll find out) away from the Pakistani border.
The main purpose for coming out here was to help the Battle Space Owner (BSO) with figuring out how to engage a couple of smaller sub-tribes in the district who are seen as hostile.
At roughly 0300 yesterday morning, I set out with a platoon conducting a ground movement (that means we walked) to a nearby village to meet with some of the elders (called a Key Leader Engagement, or KLE). We left at night (because it's a little too dangerous to walk on the road during daylight) and arrived at our destination around 0500. However, it was still dark and nobody in the village was awake. So, we all just sat on the side of a big hill until the sun came up and people started moving about the village. Despite the cold chill running down my back, it was a beautiful sight to see the sun coming up over the ridge line. Absolutely breathtaking (or maybe that was from the walk).
After meeting with the village elders and learning about all the things they need (pretty much the only thing they talk to me about), we made our way back to base. However, since it was daylight we had to take another route, this one up and over a few ridge lines. Back in the states, I enjoy this kind of stuff. Give me some trekking poles, a little water and I'm good to go. Yet, with about 70 pounds of armor strapped to body and my M4, it was another matter. I got to stop and admire the views at the top, and nobody started shooting at us, so all in all it was a good trip (with the exception of the sprained ankle I got while stepping down into a dry riverbed).
Why am I still here, you might ask? Well, funny story. I was standing on the flight line this morning, waiting for our helicopter with about 8 other guys, when we started taking indirect fire (IDF). In other words, the enemy started shooting rockets at us. We had a couple land within about 200 meters of us, and the other 6 throughout the day haven't done any serious damage; however, because of the IDF, they cancelled all flights for 24. Hopefully we won't get shot at anymore so I can go back to OE!
One of the other guys waiting on the bird was an Army Chaplain. We were chatting up our favorite college football teams. While in the bunker, waiting for the "all clear", he looked at me and said, "You know, the shooting started happening when we were talking about UT Football." This is going to be a long season/deployment, I thought to myself.

Mandatory Fun Movie Night

2011-10-08T22:14:00.000-07:00

One (of the many) annoying things about the Army is the notion that if people work together all day long, at the end of the day they should spend more time together socializing. Particularly in garrison, we are required to attend gatherings and "enjoy each other's company", as if we didn't just see each other the previous 12 hours of the day. On that note, the Battalion Executive Officer (XO) has made Friday evenings a mandatory movie night event for all the primary Staff Officers. Each week, one of us picks a movie for us all to watch, and this past Friday the XO chose our feature presentation: The Road.
First off, in probably any other setting I might have enjoyed this movie. I like Viggo Mortensen as an actor and thought there were a couple of good scenes; however, when forced to watch any movie, it's bound to slant your overall opinion. If you haven't seen it, the plot (or lack thereof) focuses on a father and son who try to survive the aftermath of an apocalyptic event. Throughout the movie, both main characters escape numerous brushes with death, including dual suicide. In one scene, Viggo's character and his son were hiding from potential killers in a bathroom. Rather than risk their fate with the cannibals, Viggo prepares to shoot his son in the head. Forgive me for thinking this way, but I wanted him to do it because I thought it would mean the end of the movie! What is more, you're showing this to a group of guys who each have a pistol attached to his hip, as if to provoke us to do the same in hopes of ending the misery that accompanied a mandatory movie as depressing as this one.
In sum, mandatory fun is an oxymoron. Forcing people to do something fun becomes the exact opposite, especially when you show a movie that is, at the very least, unfun. Thanks again big Army for making me do something I don't want to do and preventing me from skyping with my family back home...probably the only fun thing I could have done on a Friday night in Afghanistan!

Mineroller

2011-10-01T07:30:00.000-07:00

In an effort to combat victim initiated Improvised Explosive Devices (IEDs) against Coalition Forces, the military began using a method of detecting them before it was too late. The piece of equipment we use is called a mineroller. In short, it's a nifty contraption on the front of a vehicle that detonates the IED before the vehicle rolls over it, thus limiting the direct impact of the blast and the lives of countless personnel have been saved because of it. However, there are some downsides to this piece of equipment and I experienced one in particular today (don't worry, Leslie, nothing scary happened).
Because the roads in Afghanistan are terrible, and many of the vehicles we use aren't very condusive to this terrain, it's possible something on them to break every once a while. On the way back from a small village in the southern portion of our AO, our lead vehicle made a rough turn going up a hill and the mineroller broke. Luckily we were on our way back and had already swept the road for IEDs, so it did it's job! After assessing the damage, we realized that the only real solution was to just drive very slowly in hopes that it would not become worse. When fully mission capable (FMC), the mineroller will twist and turn in whatever direction the driver turns the steering wheel; but, now the assessment was that "it couldn't pass a sobriety test," according to one observer. It was twisting and turning in whatever direction it wanted.
In sum, for over 4 HOURS we drove 15 MPH and stopped periodically to fix it after going through another rough patch in the road (or lack thereof). While the layperson might consider this to be somewhat of a security concern, I can assure you that we were in no real or present danger (as evidenced by the 30 minute power nap I took in the back of the truck while we tied a towbar to the top of the mineroller in order to keep it straight). Thanks for the protection, big Army, but in doing so you took an extra 4 hours of my life that I'll never get back. Then again, I probably would've spent that time sitting in front of a computer making powerpoint slides. Nevermind!

Keep Your Eyes Open

2011-09-26T07:50:00.000-07:00

I recently downloaded NeedToBreathe's new album "The Reckoning" (which, by the way, took me about an hour because the internet connection is so slow over here!). Anyways, there are a bunch of songs that I absolutely love listening to, but one in particular that really speaks to me. I was listening to it while working out and I almost cried and throw two fifty-pound weights threw a wall at the same time!
Keep Your Eyes Open is, in my opinion, a song written from point of view of our Creator. In this song, He is telling us that there are so many times in life that will be difficult, painful, hard and downright scary; however, we can't let those emotions paralyze us, especially if they stand between us and something in life that we desperately want to obtain or become. Regardless of struggles, if we keep our eyes open (on Him), we can achieve anything. However, if we quit or give up, then we will never fulfill what He has planned for us.
These words could never be more applicable to my life than now. The chorus says, "If you never leave home, never let go, you'll never make it to the great unknown." Honestly, that's exactly what I did when I decided to come over here. I a) left home, b) let go of everything keeping me there (friends, family, work, etc.) because I believed that upon my return, I'll hopefully go into the "great unknown". While I can't really what that is just yet, I firmly believe God has some big plans for me. Maybe not in the world's eyes, but His. All I have to do is keep my eyes open.

On A Unique Mission

2011-09-23T01:45:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don't already know, I'm currently serving on a deployment to Afghanistan. My last deployment was in Iraq and I was doing a completely different job, so both the location and work are proving to be somewhat of a challenge.
Anyone not familiar with what a Civil Affairs Officer does could easily google the term and find a variety of different job descriptions. CA is most commonly associated with humanitarian aid and development in a combat or austere environment. Some prime examples of what we do, many of which I have often used myself, include handing out relief supplies, building wells and schools, or working with the host nation government to help strengthen its public institutions. While these are things that we do, what is hard for people to understand is WHY we do them.
The best answer, I think, for what we do is helping the Battle Space Owner (such as a Company or Battalion Commander) win the support of the local populace in order to deny the enemy a safe haven in the area. In many cases, we do this by giving civilians on the battlefield certain things they need or want; however, it is all intended to get something from them in return. Through negotiation and coercion, we can gain points of leverage on the populace that enable Coalition Forces to navigate through an area without civilian obstruction and gain a foothold in enemy occupied territory. If this seems hard to understand, don't worry, it is even harder to explain!
On this tour, I am serving as a Battalion Civil Affairs Officer (S9) and am responsible for helping root out Taliban using the needs and wants of the local populace. This doesn't necessarily mean that all we do is give them food and clothes, or build them schools and clinics. Rather, I am using these potential goods and services as leverage to turn the populace against the enemy. It's a key component in the Counterinsurgency strategy; however, many commanders do not see it that way. Often, all they want to do is kill the enemy; yet, they fail to consider what the fighting can do to the local nationals and how it affects their perception of both Coalition Forces and the enemy. If all we do is blow stuff up and kick in doors, then civilians are more likely to side with the enemy. My job is to show the locals that we are the good guys, not the Taliban.
I'm on a unique mission for two reasons. First, it's not what most people associate with war. Their initial reaction is to think of me as nothing more than a Soldier who walks the streets of Afghanistan, getting shot at or blown up. While this scenario is often the case, they don't quite understand WHY I have to do that. Second, I have to show both my Battalion leadership and peers why I am relevant to their operations. Without me, they risk alienating the locals through fear and intimidation. With me, they have the power to rally thousands of people in the fight against the Taliban.
Over the next several months, I hope to chronicle my efforts and share with you all my successes and failures. It's going to be a long and hard journey, so wish me luck!

Can I Get A Light?

2011-09-22T08:20:00.000-07:00

One of the first things I learned about my new "home" is that you have to carry a flashlight on you almost all the time! The sun goes down here around 1815 (6:15pm local time for you civilians) and there are absolutely NO lights outside. We're talking Vin Diesel Pitch Black (a reference to a terrible movie he did back in 2000)! Luckily, before I came here I bought a survival knife with a LED light on the end of it because I can't see 6 inches in front of my face whenever I try to walk around this place. Even worse, the building I live in has no windows and we never turn the hall light on because people are sleeping all hours of the day, so I have to use it in there too! The only good thing about all this is that the enemy can't really see us when we're walking around at night; however, I'm more likely to get hurt walking into a wall or vehicle!

Reassigned

2011-09-19T07:29:00.000-07:00

Shortly after reporting back to Ft. Dix in August, I was informed by my company commander that I had been reassigned to another company operating in another province in Afghanistan. However, that was pretty much all the information I had been given. Rather than write a post about the many possibilities of what I would be doing in my new position, I figured I would just wait until I got here, then write a post about it.
To give you a little back brief, I was originally slotted to be the Civil Military Operations Center Chief in Kandahar, supporting the 2nd Brigade, 4th Infantry Division. This position and location had a certain set of responsibilities that I'd been preparing for prior to the mobilization. When I got here (here being Paktika Province), I was told that I would be the Battalion S9 (read Civil Affairs Officer) supporting the 2nd Battalion, 28th Infantry Regiment, 172 Infantry Brigade. While this is not a completely different job, the duties and responsibilities are unique and have their own set of challenges. Rather than provide you with a bunch of information that could be an obvious OPSEC (operational security) violation and put the lives of my fellow service members in jeopardy, I'll keep my mouth (read fingers) shut.
I arrived in the province last week and got to my new "home" yesterday, so I'm currently getting spun up on operations in the area. The most relevant analogy for what I'm doing now is "drinking from a fire hose" because there's so much information being thrown at me that it's hard to consume it all. Kind of like drinking water from a fire hose...get it???
As always, it will take some time to get established and comfortable in my new locale, so any prayers of support and encouragement will be much appreciated. I have access to the internet on regular basis, so I should be able to communicate pretty easily while here. Hope everyone reading this is doing well and I look forward to hearing about your life back in the states. It will be a nice release from the wartime environment!
JC

The Long(est) Goodbye

2011-09-05T08:06:00.000-07:00

If someone told me at the beginning of this whole deployment process the first week of March that I would not be leaving until the first week of September, I probably would've asked that very person to punch me in the face. Getting my bell rung might at least distract me from the nauseous feeling in my stomach.
Since the start of this (not so) epic journey, I've been to Fort Jackson, Fort Bragg (where I got branched a Civil Affairs Officer) and Fort Dix 5 times. Yep, that's right. 5 times. Although 2 of the trips were personal trips back home to see my family, the only reason I got to take them was because somebody forgot to inform me and a few others that we were supposed to fly out on 22 August! In short, Fort Dix has become my own person Purgatory. I feel like I'm in a Monopoly game and Dix is the "Do Not Pass Go" block on the board. However, all of that will come to an end today (hopefully). Sometime this afternoon/evening, I'll be on a plane over the Atlantic. I've got a few layovers, but I expect to be in Afghanistan by the end of this week.
Although I might complain about this ridiculously long process, I honestly wouldn't change a thing. I've been blessed with some great, quality time with my family and friends. I have also done a lot of soul searching and discovered that the good Lord has some really interesting plans for me upon my return. Not exactly sure how everything will play out, but I'm sure it will be the beginning of another great chapter in my life. For now, all I have to do is come home!

Beginning Of The End

2011-08-09T18:05:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been two months and I'm now back at Fort Dix, NJ, sitting in roughly the same spot I was in when they told me to go home and tend to my "medical issue." Having done so, I have returned to resume my mobilization training for the deployment to Afghanistan. Although my unit has already been in Kandahar for over a month, just recently they joined up with the unit we will be supporting, 2nd Brigade, 4th Infantry Division. So, I'm not going to be too far behind them.
At present, I'm still not sure how much training I have left to complete before I can leave, and I won't get scheduled for a flight until I'm done with training. As a result, I'm probably going to be here for a couple of weeks. If any of you think this is a very short time period, you've obviously never been to Ft. Dix. It's a pretty miserable place to be and zombies have more of a bubbly personality than some of the people that work here!
Although I enjoyed practically every moment that I was away from here, it's kind of good to be back. Certainly not because I'm away from my family; rather, it represents a milestone in my Army career. As many of you already know, my 8-year military service obligation expires this October, and I've vowed to get out of the Army upon returning from this deployment. So, I guess you could say this is the beginning of the end for me. While I am one step closer to going to Afghanistan, I'm also one step closer to getting out of the Army, and right now that's the only good thing about being back at Ft. Dix!

Got My Orders

2011-08-04T14:44:00.000-07:00

After a few weeks of medical tests and evaluations, and several more weeks of waiting for the Army bureaucracy to cut my orders, I'm now back on the deployment roster and scheduled to return to Fort Dix, NJ on 9 Aug. Although I'm not sure how much training I have left, I don't expect to be there more than a few weeks before heading over to Afghanistan. The last word I received from my unit was that each team is supposed to push out to their supporting units this week, so hopefully I won't be too far behind them.
Although I have been blessed with a unique and unexpected opportunity to spend a couple of months with friends and family, I haven't been able to shake the fact that my unit is over there and I'm not. Since I've been home, each morning I have thanked God for being with my family; however, I have prayed for the day I rejoin my military family down range. Not knowing when it will come, and getting ever so frustrated with the process of getting medically cleared to rejoin them, I truly feel a peace about my situation. Les and I have continuously prepared for this moment and, despite the fact that we are going to be apart for such a long time, we are comforted in knowing that God will reunite us again in the near future.
To all of you that have prayed for and supported us during this time of uncertainty, we are truly grateful. Now, we ask for your continued prayers for us during this time of separation. My return to active duty has been long overdue, but hopefully it will be my last!
JC

Father's Day Reminder

2011-06-19T08:28:00.000-07:00

One of the (many) upsides to being released from active duty to attend to my thyroid issues is being home on Father's Day. Although this isn't my first year as a father, it is still a blessing to be at home with my family and enjoy this special holiday with them. It was also great to spend some quality time with my own father, who I took to a Tennessee Smokies game this past Thursday. The game of baseball has been, and will continue to be, an intimate part of our relationship and I'm thankful for every moment we get to spend together watching our nation's past time.
At church this morning, I was listening to a sermon that began like most sermons on Father's Day. The guest pastor spewed out some sobering statistics about how many fatherless homes there are in America and the thousands more that have "absentee fathers', men who live in the home but aren't really present in the lives of their children. Next came the part where we were lectured on how important fathers are, and how as Christians we have a duty to teach and train our children on the ways of the world and guide them towards living a Christ-like life.
I'll be honest, at first I was a little perturbed. I was hoping for a message much like the ones given to mothers on their day, where they are lauded for all they do every other day of the year. However, I was quickly brought back to the reality of why as fathers we get these messages every year. It's because of what many of us DON'T do every other day of the year.
This is the first Father's Day that my dad will spend without his father, who passed away on April 19th. Their relationship was tumultuous, at best; however, I'm inclined to believe that, in the waning years of his life, my grandfather felt deep remorse for his past indiscretions, although he never admitted it. Moreover, unlike many sons who have disavowed their absentee fathers, my dad made a concerted effort to show him love as best he could.
Father's Day reminds me that, 1) I am so blessed to have such a great father and 2) the greatest gift I can give my child(ren) is my time, attention and unconditional love. Withholding these gifts will do immeasurable damage to both them and me. As fathers, we need to be reminded of this duty from time to time. What better day than when we are honored as fathers?

REFRAD

2011-06-06T13:26:00.001-07:00

Well, I have officially been released from active duty and am now sitting in the Philadelphia International Airport, waiting for my flight home. As is common with the military, there have been some serious catches to my leaving here and going home for a little while.
First, and most obviously, since I'm no longer working for the Army during this time, I'm not being paid by them. Moreover, at this point they are not providing me with the free health insurance that I need in order to go to the doctors they are telling me to see and getting the lab work done that they say I need to have in order to get back on active duty and do this deployment. Really?
The fickle beast of rationality has once again escaped the Army bureaucracy and so my family is being forced to jump through a series of hoops to get this situation resolved, or we will have to fork out the money needed to get back on Tricare Reserve health care program.
One of the advantages to doing this deployment was it's ability to help increase the cushion of our reserve funds; however, it looks like we're going to have to deplete some of it before getting a return on our investment. On the bright side, I'll gladly pay whatever price to be home with my family and friends. You can't put a price tag on these relationships!
Can't wait to see many of you.
JC

Door Number Three

2011-06-03T17:13:00.000-07:00

My best friend, Jeff "Freight Train" Knox, told me one day at lunch right before I began this whole journey, "God opens doors and it's our job to walk through them." Pretty powerful words from such a close confident. "By the way," he said just before he shoved a slice of pizza in his mouth, "I've trademarked that saying, so you can't use it! I'm probably going to use it in a book title or motivational speaking seminar."
Moving along with this analogy, I woke up this morning thinking that I had only two doors to walk through: one leading to Afghanistan and the other leading back home. However, to my surprise a third door flew wide open this evening and I just ran right through it. This one still leads to Afghanistan, but with a pit stop in Knoxville!
In short, I'm still getting released from active duty; however, I'm being sent home to "recover" and rest so that my TSH levels can begin to normalize. As soon as I have a couple of lab tests that come back within the normal range, I will be medically cleared to proceed with the deployment. I think it should take roughly 4 weeks to get back to normal. As soon as I'm cleared, I will head down to Ft Benning, GA for a 5-7 day mobilization course and then head over to Afghanistan to meet up with the rest of my unit. If this timeline holds tight, I will only be a week or two behind them.
The greatest part of this whole situation is that I'm getting a lot of quality time with the family! The thought of going the rest of the year without seeing them was starting to tear me apart inside, so it's truly a blessing from God that I'm getting this opportunity. However, all this is dependent on my health. So, please continue to pray for us throughout this process. It will be tough leaving the guys, but great to be reunited with the family for a while.
Thanks to all of you for your prayers and support. Take care and I look forward to seeing many of you in the very near future!

I'm A No-Go

2011-06-02T17:19:00.000-07:00

In a post last week, I mentioned that my thyroid disease might hinder my ability to deploy. Despite lab results coming back normal last week, the doctors decided to have another test done this week, in hopes of confirming that my levels were back to normal. Today, my worst fears came to life when they told me that lab results showed severe hypothyroidism. On a regular basis, a person's TSH level (don't ask me what they means) ranges between .34 and 5.6. Currently, mine are at 15. As a result, I have been recommended for REFRAD (release from active duty).
As previously stated, I have felt a strong conviction to go on another deployment and I believe I have been following God's will for my life up to this point. However, unless the highest ranking Army medical officer at Fort Dix gives me a waiver to deploy, I will be released from active duty and sent home to recover and get my body back to normal. The only problem is, my body probably won't ever be back to normal! Sure my levels might begin to normalize, but the chances of having an extended period of time with normal levels is highly unlikely, especially when participating in such intensive combat training (which, by the way, I've been able to complete without any problem!).
Although I firmly believe my life is always in God's hands, up to this point I've done pretty much all I can do and will await the final decision. I will continue to keep everyone abreast of the situation. Please just pray for peace, comfort and strength, regardless of the outcome. God is great and so is his will. All I can do now is conform to it.

Memorialized On This Day

2011-05-30T15:51:00.000-07:00

Since joining the Army, I have had the misfortune of losing some of fellow Soldiers. On days like today it is very difficult to come to grips with the fact that my life has been spared in war, while others were not. This is not to say that they did anything wrong, or that I did anything right; rather, it is merely a fact of war. Some of us make it back home and some do not, and there is no escaping this reality.
Specialist Deangelo Snow and I first met in the Summer of 2009. He was a Soldier fresh out of mechanic school and came to my platoon with a willing heart to learn everything he could about his new job. Not long after he showed up, I moved jobs and became the Executive Officer for our Squadron's Headquarters Troop. Oddly enough, only a few months later, Deangelo was reassigned to my Troop as a member of the Command Group's Personal Security Detail (PSD). He exchanged his mechanic tools for a 240B machine gun and became a gunner. On September 17th of last year, his vehicle was hit by a rocket propelled grenade and he died of shrapnel wounds.
Roughly around the same time that SPC Snow came to my platoon, another young Soldier named Specialist David Hess showed up with an eagerness to serve his country. And just like Deangelo, David was reassigned to the PSD platoon as a driver. On October 10th, he and Staff Sergeant David Weigle, the PSD platoon sergeant, were driving in the lead vehicle of a convoy that hit a pressure plate IED in the road. Both SSG Weigle and SPC Hess died instantly.
Each year on this day, many of us serving in uniform are inundated by civilians we come into contact with, honoring us for our service to this great country. However, I cannot shake the fact that we should not be thanked today. Those of us who were fortunate enough to make it back from war are honored on Veteran's Day. Today is reserved for the heroes who made the ultimate sacrifice and gave their lives in service to our country. Memorial Day must remain their day, not ours.

Hashimoto's Thyroiditis

2011-05-24T11:34:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don't already know, in 2009 I was diagnosed with a somewhat rare thyroid disease. While most people with an irregular thyroid have either hypothyroidism or hyperthyroidism, I unfortunately have both. It has been described to me as a chemical roller coaster that takes place in my body, where at one point my thyroid releases all the chemicals, while at others it won't release any at all. Despite the initial incident that led to my diagnosis (blacking out as I was climbing to the top of a twenty-foot rope), I haven't had any serious health issues. I've been taking a small dosage of medicine when in the hypothyroid stage and that's about it. It's honestly more of a nuisance than anything.
I am bringing this up today because I found out that if my thyroid levels are not normal, I will be deemed non-deployable. While this might be great news for some, I cannot shake the conviction I have felt to deploy again. Ever since leaving active duty with the 101st Airborne last year, at the same time my brothers-in-arms were heading to Afghanistan, I have felt a call to go again. However, this might not be possible if my thyroid is acting up again.
At this time, I'd like to ask all of you who read this to please pray for God's will to be done in the process. If I've done anything, it's follow what I believe to be His will for my life at this point. It tears me up inside to think that I'm going to leave my family for such a long time. I want so badly to be home with my wife and daughter, being the husband and father that I so desperately want to be. However, I also feel compelled to follow His will, regardless of what it may mean for my family. Christ has called us to love Him above all and follow Him, no matter the cost. I truly feel I am doing this by serving my country in war again. However, much like God called Abram to sacrifice his only son - and then rewarded him with a great nation of descendants for his willingness to do so - maybe I have accomplished all he set out for me to do, to be willing to go again. If that is all he wanted me to do, then I guess my reward is being united with my family again, for good.

Fort Dixin' It

2011-05-21T16:48:00.001-07:00

Throughout my time preparing for this deployment, I have been to Fort Dix, NJ two separate times. The first I was up here for about 10 days and didn't really do anything productive. This time, I've only been up here for two days and still haven't done much. Now, I'm not saying that I come up here and just sit around doing nothing. Think of my time up here like going to the grocery store with a specific list; however, you walk through EVERY aisle, picking up stuff that's not on your list because you know at some point you might need that particular item. Sure, you might be able to go back to the store and get those items again, but you're at the store now, so why not get them?
The unfortunate thing about being up here is that there are over a hundred people needing to do the same thing, but they don't have the capacity to serve everyone at the same time, so they come up with menial classes or training for half the group to do just to keep them occupied while the other half is doing the important stuff. It's annoying, and at times insulting, but the truth is you never know when you might need the information. The real question is whether or not we'll be able to remember what we were taught when it counts!

Branch Qualified

2011-05-18T15:52:00.001-07:00

Well, today I am officially a Civil Affairs Officer. We finished up the culmination exercise (CULEX) on Sunday and spent the past two days tying up some loose ends before our graduation ceremony this morning. The past month has consisted of a lot of long days, filled with written examinations and practical exercises, all designed to provide us with the tools and resources needed to make an impact throughout our area of operations.
As I stated in the last post, there have been several phases of this process and I am now on to the last phase before deploying to Afghanistan. Tomorrow morning, 15 of us will make the long trek back up to Ft. Dix, NJ, where we'll continue to hone our warrior skills.
Leaving Ft. Bragg is kind of bitter-sweet because I know that I'm about to leave for a long time, but it also means that I am one step closer to be done with this whole experience. I take comfort in knowing that the good Lord will provide and protect me and my family throughout these difficult times. I want to serve my country; but more importantly, I want to serve my family and my God. Hopefully, by doing the former I am also doing the latter two.

I'm Back!!!

2011-05-07T11:53:00.000-07:00

Well, if any of you remember why I started this blog roughly three years ago, that main reason I've decided to pick back up with this is because I'm going on another deployment.
Back in 2008, I thought it would be a great idea to have a place to post my thoughts and experiences during my tour to Iraq. Despite being released from active duty last fall, the Reserve unit that I got assigned to in Knoxville, the 489th Civil Affairs Battalion, got tapped for a deployment to Afghanistan. Since February, I've been intermittently preparing for this deployment, spending a week at Ft Jackson, SC, a week back in Knoxville, and 10 days at Ft Dix, NJ.
Currently, I'm at Ft Bragg, NC, going through the Civil Affairs Qualification Course (CAQC). Upon completion on 18 May, I will officially be a Civil Affairs Officer. The best way to explain what a CA officer does is I am a liaison between the military leadership in a particular area of operations and the local tribes and clans that live within the area. I also coordinate with other government agencies (OGAs), international governmental organizations (IGOs), and non-governmental organizations (NGOs). However, my favorite description of what we do comes from one of my Non-commissioned officers (NCOs), who said we're like the Peace Corps...with guns!
After completing the CAQC, I will report back to Ft Dix for another few weeks of pre-deployment training. Then, I'm off to Afghanistan.
Hopefully I'll be able to update this blog about as frequently as I did the last time, providing my take on life in a combat theater. Not sure what the good Lord has in store for me, but I'll do my best to keep you posted.
It's good to be back....sort of.

Fan vs. Wild

2010-04-18T13:41:00.000-07:00

If you don't alread know it yet, I am a huge fan of outdoorsy/survival shows. There is just something about being out in the wild and soaking up nature that intrigues me. One show on the Discovery Channel that I have grown very fond of is Man vs. Wild with Bear Grylls. This man and his crew have been all over the world and done the kinds of things that some people wouldn't even dream of, while other guys like me would only dream of doing...until now.
Recently, Bear has teamed up with Degree for men to select four adventure-minded guys to compete in wilderness challenges and be featured on the show in August. I hope to be one of those guys.
One of the criteria for applying is describing an extreme adventure that I've been on. Although I can't really say that I've been on an extreme adventure, there was one trip I could after graduating from high school that helped lay a foundation of outdoor adventure for me.
The summer before starting college, I went flew to Seattle, then by van and ferry to the wilderness of British Columbia. For one week, 10 of us kayaked through several Pacific inlets and experienced all that nature has to offer. I learned so much about how to enjoy our natural surrounding, while at the same time preserving it. I even learned how to dam up a creek and take the (only) bath of the week. It was truly an experience that I will forever cherish. I just wish there was an opportunity to do something even more challenging. Despite going a few backpacking trips, the past several years have been spent serving in the military and having to enjoy the outdoors with an M4 in one hand and a radio in the other! It is my hope that being chosen for this contest will open the door to a wealth of adventure and everlasting memories.

Baby Pics

2010-02-03T17:16:00.000-08:00

Sorry! I've been meaning to add more pictures of Ellie to the blog, but just haven't gotten around to it. Here you go!

Who He's NOT

2010-01-31T16:07:00.001-08:00

I know, I know. It's been just under a month since I've posted. I wish I could say that my duty in the Army, or an absence of Internet access is the cause for this lapse in time, but it's not. Frankly, I just haven't had much motivation. Granted, I've had a child and have a lot going on in my life, but I guess publishing my life hasn't been much of a priority for me as of late. Furthermore, I can't really even explain why I'm posting about this guy at this time. However, it might be because I've finally come to grips with the events surrounding the coaching change at my beloved academic institution.
Derek Dooley is a name that I was only made aware of after reading the ticker at the bottom of the television while watching ESPN. I had no clue who he was or what credentials he had to take over (what I believe to be) one of the biggest coaching jobs in college football. After the announcement was made and I tuned in to his press conference on the Deuce, I couldn't help but wonder what kind of morbid state of depression I might fall into over the next two or three college football seasons.
Having finally done a little homework on him, I've deduced the following:
- He's not a well known name, only his last name. His father, famed UGA head coach Vince Dooley, holds the accolades in the family.
- He's not the head coach of reputable program. In fact, LA Tech was his first head coaching position.
- He's not a former SEC player...only an assistant coach, albeit a Sabanite (at LSU and Miami).
- He wasn't even among Hamilton's top candidates, as 4 other prospects were approached prior to getting the interview.
Despite his shortcomings, this is not intended to be an assault on the new coach. Instead, it's only a list of facts that everyone has been made aware of over the past couple of weeks. What is most important about his list of negatives is this: HE'S NOT LANE KIFFIN!
Look, I'm not jumping on the bandwagon of people who hate Kiffin for leaving UT. Frankly, I wasn't too enthused that he was hired. He never seemed like a great fit with the culture and heritage of the school, town and conference. The only shining light I saw that his father, Monte, was coming to K-town. Sure, he had others like Orgeron coming as well, but Monte is arguably the greatest defensive mind in professional football. I was excited about what our defense was going to look like in the years to come.
To those who say that Kiffin abandoned the Big Orange, I say good riddance. I'd rather have a less than notable coach with character and integrity than what we got out of the 14 months Kiffin "graced us with his presence." Dooley's likely to get a pass this first season since he came in a probably he worst time ever! Moreover, he's got enough experience and motivation (not to mention a southern accent) to garner an even winning record next year, which is only one win less than Kiffin got. I'll take that any day over more sleepless nights worrying about NCAA violations!
Take care and go Dooley!

Always Second

2010-01-01T19:03:00.000-08:00

Although there are several things I could talk about in the first blog of the new year, I can't help but discuss college football's Bowl Season. This is partly due to the fact that I've been watching EVERY SINGLE GAME thus far, since Les and I are couped up in the house adjusting to parenthood. It's also because I've been recently made aware of some prominent players who happen to share similar beliefs to me; yet, you probably wouldn't know it because the media doesn't promote it.
Ask anyone who knows of Tim Tebow and they'll tell you he's arguably one of the greatest, most influential players in the history of college football. He's a phenomenal leader and a devout Christian, as evidenced by the scripture on his eye black each week. However, there are some others on the field who may not be as influential as him on the national stage, but are just as influential with their faith. One in particular is Colt McCoy, quarterback for the Texas Longhorns and two time Heisman finalist. Sure, he's playing in the National Championship on Thursday, but he's not playing for the favored team, nor is going to garner the spotlight with Heisman winner Mark Ingram on the other side of the field.
Last year, McCoy wasn't even the best quarterback in the Big 12 Conference, as Oklahoma QB Sam Bradford bested him head to head on the field, as well as in the Heisman voting. Yet, both of these men take a back seat to Tebow's prowess with his faith. Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful for what this guy has done to college football and in preaching the Gospel, but both McCoy and Bradford are fellow believers who have spent four years in his shadow.
Today I saw a short advertisement for the website iamsecond.com, an organization that promotes putting Jesus Christ above yourself, regardless of what you've done in your life. McCoy and Bradford, along with countless others, both famous and regular people, talk about their earthly failures and how God's love and mercy have healed them. Names like Darrell Waltrip, Tony Dungy, Jason Witten, Brian Welch (former guitarist for the band Korn) and many others publicly profess their love and affection for Christ on this website and open up their lives for us to see. I view all of these as acts of courage for which all Christians should strive.
I strongly encourage you to visit this website, and possibly even join a group if you feel led. But most importantly, I hope that you will acknowledge the efforts of McCoy and Bradford in winning hearts for Christ, even if it's unbeknownst to the public eye.
Happy New Year and God Bless!

She's Here!!!

2009-12-18T12:05:00.000-08:00

Well, despite my last post's inference that our daughter would be born on the 17th, it wasn't until 12:56am this morning that Ellie came into this world. It was a long, draining day, but the results were out of this world!
Les and I showed up at Blanchfield Army Community Hospital around 7:45am; however, it wasn't until about 8:15-8:20am that we were escorted to the labor and delivery room. Our naivete set in around that time, thinking we'd get this ball rolling in a matter of moments. What ensued was countless hours of waiting...and more waiting!
Since she was getting induced, Leslie's providers decided to give her the liquid drug pitocin. She first received this around 11:00am; yet it takes upwards of two hours to begin working. Around 2:00pm, Leslie started feeling more intense contractions, and this lasted for almost 2 1/2 hours before she asked for an epidural. I'm sure she could've endured the pain for longer, but her contractions were only about 90 seconds a part. I don't know about you, but if someone told me I could either go to the plate with a wooden bat or an aluminum bat, I'm swinging some metal! (Note: At this time, apply the analogy above to the situation of going through labor natural, or with an epidural.)
After getting the epidural, Leslie had to wait another 6 hours before getting to push, as she wasn't fully dilated and needed more time for her body to prepare. Around 11:30pm, she got the go ahead to start pushing and a little less than 90 minutes later, we had our baby girl!
In short, it was such a surreal experience, and I'm so thankful for being given this gift; yet at the same time, it was a very gross process and I saw more things that I ever wanted. My beautiful bride is such a trooper and I'm so honored to be her soul mate, but I never thought I'd see her in "all her glory".
My daughter is healthy, as well as her mommy, and for that I am so grateful. But this experience has further solidified one thing in my life... THANK GOD I'M A DUDE!!!

Tomorrow

2009-12-16T19:44:00.000-08:00

In the season finale of the West Wing, (arguably one of the greatest TV shows ever and a personal favorite of ours), outgoing President Bartlett was asked by his wife what he was thinking as they took off on Air Force One for the last time. His reply was simply, "Tomorrow." Although this was the last word spoken for the entire show, it represented a new chapter in the former President's life; much like tomorrow will be the first day of the next chapter in my life.
Tomorrow morning, Leslie will be going in for an induction and (good Lord willing) we'll only be hours away from becoming parents. It's been a long road with lots of growing pains (pun intended); but the time has finally come for our daughter to enter this world. It's honestly one of the most surreal moments of my life so far. To think that God has given us the privilege of creating and caring for another human being is such an honor. Despite the uncertainties that lie in front of us (for who knows how long), we are eagerly awaiting this experience. Leslie, in her best effort, is trying hard not to be overwhelmed with the birthing process, so I ask for your prayers during this tumultuous time. We're thankful for all your prayers and support up to this point and thank you in advance for your efforts in the near future.
I'll do my best to update everyone as soon as possible, but please don't feel slighted if things are a little delayed. We're not too sure what opportunities we'll have to communicate with the outside world, but rest assured that you're love and support will be felt and appreciated.
Take care and hold fast.

The Countdown

2009-12-13T06:43:00.000-08:00

I'm sure many of you think the countdown to fatherhood began many moons ago, and to a point I agree with you. However, with the recent news from Leslie's doctor, it has now become a very, very real countdown.
"I'm not going to let you go past next Friday," Maj. Gerber announced to Leslie at her appointment last Wednesday. "Either you'll go on your own before then, or we'll induce; but, it will need to be before the 19th." When she said that, it began to sink in that I was only days away from being a father. Shock? Anxiety? Excitement? What exactly was it that I was feeling? Honestly, it was a multitude of emotions; yet, none of them made me the slightest bit uncertain about this awesome new stage of life I'm about to enter.
Now that Leslie has finished her last day of work at Austin Peay (this past Friday), it's going to give her some down time to soak in her final days without a child. I think these days of rest and relaxation will be all her body needs to trigger the start of the birthing process and catapult us into the organized chaos that is parenthood. We are both very excited and ever mindful of the beauty and love that our Father has shown us.
With regard to informing our friends and family, we will both do our best to let everyone know what is going on and when. Lord willing, everything will work out and we'll have our newest addition home by the end of next week! Thanks to all for your prayers and support over the past several months and we can't wait to share our great news with you in the days to come.
Take care and Happy Holidays!

Obstetric Cholestasis

2009-11-28T20:02:00.001-08:00

Also known as Intrahepatic Cholestasis of Pregnancy (ICP), this is a potentially serious pregnancy-related disorder of the liver. It is estimated that 7 out of every 100 pregnant women are affected in the United States each year. In short, this condition affects the flow of bile (a liver-produced substance that aids in the digestion and absorption of fats) to a woman’s body. It results in a build-up of bile acids in the blood, which in turn can lead to severe itching, and in more rare cases, jaundice. More importantly, if left untreated, this disorder could lead to pre-mature birth, hemorrhaging, fetal distress, or even still birth.
I am writing all of this because Leslie was recently diagnosed with this disorder. Although it was caught early, and has been closely monitored for the past several days, it is yet another layer of uncertainty in the whole pregnancy process. The past two fetal monitor tests have given us comfort because little Ellie seems fine; but if things start to go south, they will have to induce labor and get her out. Thankfully, today marks Leslie's 36th week of pregnancy, a crucial milestone since 44% of all cases with ICP don't make it past 36 weeks before they have to induce.
Other than having very itchy hands and feet (a common, yet annoying symptom), as well as bouts of fatigue, she's in good spirits.
The immediate future holds a couple of scenarios, but the likelihood of her carrying to term is slim to none. Although we've been hoping to have our baby girl in this world before Christmas, our main concern is good health for both mom and daughter. Our biggest prayer is that the good Lord continues to guide and protect us all in the days and weeks to come, in the hope that we will meet our newest addition on His time and no one else's.
We will continue to keep you all posted on this process, but please don't get upset if I can't post again before anything happens!
Take care.

Thoughts On Thanksgiving

2009-11-25T05:58:00.000-08:00

It's hard to believe that I've already been home for a year now. I remember seeing my family for the first time on Thanksgiving Day for the first time since I went on the deployment and the joy in my heart as we embraced. Although I was only gone for about half the year, it felt like such a long time since we'd seen each other.
I can't help but think that this memory will always come to mind every Thanksgiving from here on out. Frankly, it's EXACTLY what I'm supposed to remember because it's what this holiday is all about. As everyone says, it's about giving thanks for all that you've been given in this life. For me, I can't help but thank God for the new life he's about to give me in my first child, Ellen.
It is my sincere hope that each one of you will give humble thanks to our Creator for what He has given you, whether good or bad. I know it's been a tough year for a lot of you, and there are so many reasons why shouldn't give thanks. However, in spite of all that, I pray that we can given Him thanks for letting His will be done on earth. I don't think I've ever heard someone say that we never learned anything through the tough times, and I seriously doubt that trying times don't contain any important lessons.
So, give thanks to all that He has done and all that He will do in the days, weeks, months and years to come simply because He is the giver of ALL things. I thank Him for the memories of last year and those I will cherish in the years to come. I hope the same for all of you as well....except for a deployment to Iraq!
Take care and Happy Thanksgiving!

Eagle Flight II

2009-11-10T13:55:00.001-08:00

Sorry for my absence over the past several weeks, but I spent a couple of weeks "in the field" up at Fort Knox, KY. No, it wasn't a lot of fun and I didn't even get to "play Army" while up there, but some of the Soldiers got to and that's what most important.
Being a non-platoon leader officer in the field isn't very much fun...at all. Most of your time is spent trying to make sure everyone else's training is productive. In other words, I spent two weeks as an "event planner".
Eagle Flight I (back in July) was spent at the same place, but at the time I was still with my former Troop. This time, I was with HHT; yet, somehow I managed to do practically the same thing....run ranges! Every range that is occupied by a unit has to have an Officer In Charge (OIC). This is a somewhat dubious honor for any senior enlisted or officer, but the fact remains that we are ultimately in charge of everything that happens out there, good or bad. In July, I was the OIC for 4 separate ranges, while everyone else got to shoot weapons. This time, I got to watch platoons drive down a range in their trucks and shoot at pop up targets. Exciting? No. Monotonous, redundant, time consuming, and about half a dozen other synonyms? Yes. The only shining light in the whole ordeal was getting to spend time with the Soldiers. When you're stuck behind a desk all day, every day, it gets lonely and boring. So, having some down time where I can get to know them on a personal level is always a treat (no matter how messed up they might be).
In the coming weeks and months, I'll have a lot of updates on my personal life that I'll be discussing. There's just something exciting about starting a new chapter of my life that I can't wait to experience. If there's anyone out there that still reads this stuff, it will be a chance to find out what I've been up to...or will be up to soon.
Take care.

Getting Rid of The Stigma

2009-10-08T12:43:00.000-07:00

It started off as a normal conversation. Wade and I were just talking about when we get together with other guys and hang out. Then, he said it. "When you're having relations with men...". He paused, then we both looked at each other. "Sorry, that didn't come out right", he muttered. We both chuckled, then I said, "Wade, why is it that what you just said has such a negative connotation in today's society?" Frankly, I think it's a very logical question. Wade used the term EXACTLY as it is intended. The term relations is defined as "A logical or natural association between two or more things; relevance of one to another; connection". This is what Wade was referring to in our conversation. He was referencing the act of relating to other guys, particularly when we are connecting on a more personal level. Nowhere in his thought process did the idea or notion of homosexual activity ever creep in. That is, until he realized what he said.
This is both sad and tragic. Why? Because we as men have somehow convinced ourselves that male relationships are either a sign of weakness or a misrepresentation of our sexual orientation. How does having a close, intimate relationship with another man make us gay? The term intimate means "characterized by or involving warm friendship or a personally close or familiar association or feeling". While the term is commonly used to explain a sexual relationship between a man and woman, that is not what it is supposed to mean. If we take Wade's statement for what it is originally intended to mean (and explicitly defined as), then there is nothing wrong with what he said. Our society has somehow commingled (to mix or mingle together; combine) references to heterosexual relationships with homosexual relationships. In other words, references to relations with my wife, whom I do have sexual relations with, by simply mentioning relations with other men, people almost instinctively think I am talking about having sex with them. That's ridiculous!!!
The reality is this: Until we can get rid of these stupid stereotypes and stigmas attached to having close relationships with men, we are destined to a life without them. As a result, we will miss out on so much of what God has intended for our lives. For some of you, this might not be a big deal, but that's just because you don't know what you're missing. Question: Are you willing to go the rest of your life wondering what you could have done better? Sure, we're all going to have regrets, but are you okay with looking back on life wishing you were a better husband, father, son, friend, etc? Well, that's what you're sacrificing by not engaging in life with other men.
In the near future, Wade and I are going to discuss male relationships, or what I like to call, menlationships. As close as the two of us have become over the years, we want to know how to become better friends, and we hope all of you out there to will want the same things for yourselves. In order to be the men we aspire to be, we MUST observe, engage and learn from other men. Eventually, the two of us hope to compile all these thoughts and discussions into a book that challenges the status quo in our society and encourages men to take up the banner that has been laid before us. It's time we start acting like men, just like those who came before, so that our successors can do the same!

Best College Football Conference

2009-10-06T13:36:00.001-07:00

My brother from another mother extended a challenge to find out which College football conference holds the title of "best in the land." He limited the historical analysis to his lifetime (roughly the 1970s); but in a previous conversation, I mentioned the past 30 years. Since there is only a few years difference between them, I think it's safe to stay within that range.
I would like to start off by saying that I DO have a particular bias...and I don't think there's any question which side I fall on. Having exposed my partiality, I would like to posit my method of determining the winner.
Just about every week for the past...I dunno....10 years, I've always looked at the top 25 in each poll and counted the number of teams from each conference. Frankly, I think this is a legitimate account since it comes from varied sources and from people who make their living analyzing each team's playing ability. I know some people will take issue with this, but the fact remains that these people control the process and I don't think there's any predetermined bias that goes into their calculations.
I found the following information on another website. You'll notice it's bias just in the web address (http://www.secsportsfan.com/top-all-time-college-football-conference-record.html), but I challenge anyone to disprove these numbers. It should be noted that this data is based on the CURRENT conference affiliations.

Top 25 Top 50
SEC 6 8
Big Ten 3 6
Big 12 5 5
ACC 2 7
Pac-10 3 5
Big East 1 4

I would also like to note that if you consolidated the schedule strength of each team in their respective conference, it could serve as a respectable gauge. In this category, you would have to look at INTERNAL strength rather than overall strength. By simply looking at overall strength of schedule, you are forced to consider ALL the opponents a school plays, rather than just their conference opponents. This blog post (http://www.collegegameballs.com/2009/05/20/2009-out-of-conference-schedule-strength-by-conference-and-team/) uses the highest OUT OF CONFERENCE estimate, which obviously doesn't account for their conference opponents' strength. My argument against this is that the SEC has such good internal competition that it doesn't need to legitimize itself against another conference. After all, isn't that what the Bowl season is for???
Lastly, I was able to find this data from the past 10 years regarding conference strength.
SI.com's Conference Power Index (Based on a highest possible score of 42)
2003-08 1998-'03
1. SEC (40) Big Ten (35)
2. Pac-10 (29) SEC (31)
3. ACC (23) Big 12 (25)
4. Big Ten (22) Pac-10 (21)
5. Big 12 (19) Big East (18)
6. Big East (16) ACC (17)
If you average out these two scores, you'll see that the SEC wins by a landslide (of course, this is ONLY for the past 10 years).
Hope this information helps in solidifying SEC's title as "best in the land."
I'm sure there will be much more information thrown out there, but just wanted to add my two cents.

New Job

2009-09-14T15:38:00.000-07:00

It's pretty common for an officer to change positions about every 9 to 12 months. Normally, they start out as Platoon Leaders before transitioning into either a staff position, of in my case, the dubious honor of XO.
The Executive Officer (XO) is second in the chain of command for a company or troop. Since I'm in a Cavalry Squadron, not a Battalion, we are considered troops, not companies. Being a Logistician usually means that I stay within the realm of Logistics, i.e. I stay within my support troop, move to another support company, or go to the Brigade Support Battalion (BSB) and serve on their staff. Notice I italicized the word usually. That's to emphasize the way things are supposed to go.
Right before the Labor Day weekend, my commander told me that I would stay in my current position, the Squadron Maintenance Officer/Platoon Leader, until roughly December or January. At that time I would transition to D troop XO position. Not even a week later, I got called into his office only to find out that I would be taking over as XO, but not for D troop. Instead, I would move over to the Squadron's Headquarters and Headquarters' Troop (HHT) XO slot.
Without going into too much detail, HHT consists of the Command Group (Squadron Commander, Squadron Executive Officer, Command Sergeant Major and all their staff), as well as the Headquarters' Troop, made up of the Troop Commander, First Sergeant, myself, a field artillery platoon, medic platoon, and a few miscellaneous soldiers. Although just about all XO positions require the same work, this troop has a little more headache. It's a very thankless job, with responsibilities ranging from property accountability, long and short-term planning, logisitical support and maintenance (the only thing I'm proficient in), physical security, and about a dozen other things.
If you're wondering how well I'm taking this change, the answer is... not so much. Logistics Officer usually stay within the realm of support, so going outside this sphere and being assigned to anything BUT a support unit is a big transition. So, things are going to be a little intense for the next several weeks/months. Lord willing, I'll rise to the challenge; but, I'm definitely not looking forward to the future's uncertainties.
François de la Rochefoucauld once stated that, "The only thing constant is change." Things are definitely going to change for me.... the question is how much?!

Insanity

2009-09-12T17:49:00.000-07:00

in⋅san⋅i⋅ty [in-san-i-tee]
–noun, plural -ties.
1. the condition of being insane; a derangement of the mind.
2. Law: such unsoundness of mind as affects legal responsibility or capacity.
3. Psychiatry: (formerly) psychosis.
4. extreme folly; senselessness; foolhardiness.

While I'm sure we've all heard the cliche, "Insanity means doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results," if you look up the term on dictionary.com, this is what you're going to get. The fourth definition, I think, best describes what I just witnessed during the UT v. UCLA game.
Leslie and I have a sincere love for the Big Orange, but seeing the performance of Jonathan Crompton today reminded me of the past four seasons (two with Eric Ainge and one with Crompton), not the Rocky Top Revival the Knoxville News Sentinel boasted on its cover page last week. Despite the strong performance by virtually everybody else who stepped on the field, #8 managed to defy every prediction that favored a UT win.
Now, I know many of you out there believe in the notion of keeping an under-performer in the game to either a) give him a chance for redemption or b) teach him a lesson by working through his shortcomings. However, this is where I think the definition of insanity (however you choose to define it) is applicable. Although I didn't get to watch much of last season because I was busy "defending our freedoms and liberties" in Iraq (just wanted to throw that out there for pity and defend myself against anyone who wants to argue with me); I'm pretty sure Crompton played the same way he did today. So, if one agrees that insanity is in fact repetitive action with the hope of different results, or foolhardiness, then he or she has to believe that continuing to play him will never yield anything but under-performance and failure.
I'm not saying I hate the guy and think he deserves to be thrown off the Henley Street Bridge, but let's at least see if doing something different, i.e. starting another QB, can revitalize the offense and get something going in the air. I seriously doubt Stephens can do any worse than 4 interceptions and a fumble. Yes, I'm counting the one he threw on the second to last play of the game even though it was negated by the UCLA off-sides because he technically threw an interception.
I await your responses....Wade!

REFRAD

2009-09-03T15:31:00.001-07:00

As I'm sure you all know by now, the Army (more generally, the federal government) loves acronyms. Because of this obsession, I am now considered a REFRADer. This term means RElease From Active Duty.
Yes, that's right, I have asked the Army to release me from my active duty contract. This can happen as early as a year from one's End Time in Service (ETS) date, which for me is 19 Sep 2010. This means that on 20 Sep of next year, I will no longer be on active duty; instead, I will either be in a drilling Reserve or Inactive Reserve component. This difference between the two is pretty self-explanatory, in one I drill one weekend a month and two weeks a year, while in the other I don't do anything, but can get put back on active duty if another conflict arises. If I haven't already stated this, an individual makes an eight year obligation to the military when he or she signs a contract. Mandatory years of active duty are really the only thing that distinguishes the commitment. I agreed to serve a minimum of three years active duty, while another might elect to only be in the Reserve.
Although technically I submitted my Unqualified Resignation (UQR), this distinction is very minute from the REFRAD. So, now I am one of those guys getting out before the Brigade deploys again (good Lord willing). Despite having over 365 days until I get out, it can arrive in the blink of an eye, so now Leslie and I are preparing for our relocation back home....in good ole K-town!
Hope all is well with you and yours.

Colbert Defends the Faith

2009-08-24T10:40:00.000-07:00

I don't know what your personal thoughts are of Stephen Colbert and his show the Colbert Report, but I'm a pretty big fan of it. There's just something funny about making a mockery of American politics and culture, and I think he does it ever so well.
Last week, Colbert had Stephen Wright, author of "The Evolution of God", on his show and I think you'd be surprised at how deftly he defends the Christian faith. Regardless of his sincerity or authenticity, he does what I think many of us could do a better job at.
Below is a link to the interview. Hope you enjoy!
http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/247057/august-18-2009/robert-wright

Ch. 15: Let Us Be Intentional

2009-08-15T15:43:00.000-07:00

Eldredge starts off his final chapter with yet another great verse that spells out this journey we have made throughout the book.

"You have made known to me the path of life." (Psalms 16:11)

Frankly, it's a somewhat bitter sweet that Wade and I have concluded this long(er than we meant it to be) process of learning the various phases in life and how we are to journey through them. I've learned a lot about myself and what I must do in order to live this life He has given me.
Although Eldredge focuses practically all of the last chapter on his youngest son Blaine's masculine journey, he emphasizes his own need, and that of Blaine, to be intentional about their pursuit. Think of it as a call to arms for all men, regardless of age, race, creed, etc. We must all be intentional in what we do right now, in the future, and especially in our interaction with other men. We owe it to ourselves, and those we come into contact with, to make a concerted effort to maximize our time here on earth to His glory. Most importantly, we owe it to the youth to lead the way. This is what Wade and I seek to do.
Wade mentioned in an earlier post that the two of us are looking to write a book on the importance of male relationships. While this might be a somewhat lofty goal, the main purpose is to be intentional in our pursuit to grow as men and encourage others to do the same. What we have witnessed and experienced throughout this project is a lack of intentionality among today's men to grow individually as well as with other men. In order to get the utmost fulfillment in life God has provided us, we have got to be intentional in our RELATIONSHIPS.
Life isn't about fortune, fame, or anything associated with power or materialism. It's about relationships. I have yet to find ANYONE in this world (past or present) who can prove otherwise. So, it's imperative that we invest our time in relationships with other people. Yes, marriages are important and so is being a father; but I firmly believe you cannot be the best at either unless you are surrounded by a group of men that compel you to want to excel in those other areas of your life. This is what we felt is lacking in this book. We're not saying that Eldredge completely missed the boat on this topic, as it's not the book's premise. We just feel that he glossed over the importance of male relationships in growing through each phase of life.
I'd like to think of this as the end of the beginning. My dear friend and I have ended our first of many journeys together and we are excited with where the future is going to take us...together.
It's my sincere hope that SOMEONE out there has been reading these posts and has gotten SOMETHING out of it. However, even if there isn't, I take comfort in knowing that both Wade and myself have grown stronger in our faith and our friendship. If that's all God wanted us to get out of it, then we succeeded! He made known to us the path of life and now it's our responsibility to follow it.

We Must, Mustn't We?

2009-08-12T06:52:00.000-07:00

Touche` Wade, touche`. My good friend strikes at the heart of our duty as the younger generation to engage our predecessors and learn from their experiences. Too often we dismiss our elders as out of date and insignificant, treating them as if they're children instead of the Sages that they are.

When I look at those who have gone before me, in whatever stage of life I might be in, it's in the way they walk, talk and act that shows me how they dealt with those obstacles idiosyncratic to each phase. If they're hunched over and passive in their approach to daily life, it seems as though their experiences have broken them. Yet, if they're walking with their heads held high, it's possible that the trials and tribulations made them a better, stronger person. In either situation, those individuals have SOMETHING to tell us, whether it's an "I should of" or an "I did."

Much like Wade, I aspire to be a Sage; but I'm not so sure that we have to wait until the twilight of our lives to be one. Can we not be a Sage of some sort in whatever stage we have gone through? Is it possible to be the Cowboy or Warrior Sage as we move on to our next phase of life? How relevant are our experiences in those phases, as opposed to those who went through it a generation ago?

Maybe the term Sage is somewhat relative, in that pieces of advice or counsel don't always warrant the title. If we have pass on some words of wisdom to the new comers of our phase as we move onto the next, does this mean we should be considered a Sage? In a vain attempt to answer my own question, I DO NOT think this should be considered the act of being a Sage; however, it's these very actions that prepare us to become the Sage of tomorrow. In this case, the old adage "practice makes perfect" is very applicable. We don't have to wait until we're at the tail end of our time on earth to impart wisdom to the youth, we can start by doing it now. By doing so, we could strengthen our Sage-ness abilities when we are firmly planted in this phase.

Ch. 14: Sage

2009-08-05T15:02:00.000-07:00

"The glory of young men is their strength, gray hair the splendor of the old" (Proverbs 20:29). Not too sure if I'm ever going to have gray hair...since I don't really have any, but I think this scripture is alluding to the experiences that resulted in his gray hair (or lack thereof in some cases).
Honestly, what man doesn't want to be considered a Sage when he's old? To me, that's one of the rewards of overcoming the trials and tribulations of life. Moreover, there's a responsibility that the elders of our society have to the younger generations, so we can learn from their experiences and try not to repeat the mistakes of their past.
Eldredge only allocates one chapter to this stage in life, mainly because he admits that he's not able to provide that much insight since he's not experienced much of Sagehood. All the secondary chapters devoted to a stage focus on how to develop a man through this period in his life, yet the Eldredge chooses to only devote a section in this chapter to the aspect of raising a Sage. Although you can't exactly raise a Sage, it is possible to raise the Sage in a man. For instance, the author takes note of how an older man can be undeveloped. This occurs when he either refuses to take the journey, or take note of his journey. If he has failed to take stock of his experiences, then all we could learn from him is lost. However, if we can draw out those experiences through communication, or simply listening to him, we can bring out his words of wisdom. What is more, when I think about the term wisdom, I can't help but think of King Solomon, the man who asked God for wisdom, and was granted it. Arguably the wisest man to ever live (aside from Christ, of course), he wrote that "Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom" (Proverbs 1:7). This scripture delineates between mere knowledge and wisdom. In my view, man gains knowledge by what happens to him, but he garners wisdom by how he reacts to those experiences. So, when judging the Sage-ness of a man, one must look at how he reacted to those situations he faced throughout his life. By doing so, you can determine whether or not to follow in his footsteps.

Ellen Suzanne Cragwall

2009-08-04T14:41:00.000-07:00

Well, if you haven't already heard, it's a girl! Yes, Leslie and I are following the pseudo trend of many of our friends. We have counted up to 6 other people we know that are having a girl before the end of this year.
Although many would expect me to want to have my boy, it might shock you to know that I've always had a feeling that this first one would be my little Daddy's girl. I have two older sisters, who both played a productive role in my individual growth. They nurtured me, and beat the crap out of me too, so I guess I got the best of both worlds. Good Lord willing this won't be our only child, so we'll just have to pray a little harder for our boy.
When I first found out that Ellie (yes, we've already given her a nickname) was on her way, it made me think about a story Michael Deaver, a close advisor to Ronald Reagan, told when he informed the then Governor of California that his wife was pregnant. "Pray it's a girl," Reagan told Deaver. It's not that Reagan didn't like his sons Michael and Ronnie, as he loved both of them deeply. "Having a girl means you get to watch your wife grow up all over again." I just hope she looks like Leslie!
Thanks for your continued prayers and support.
Take care.

Ch. 13: Raising the King

2009-07-22T15:52:00.000-07:00

"Well done, thy good and faithful servant!" This is what I hope to hear when I enter the heavenly kingdom. Of course, I'm sure that's what we ALL want to hear when our time comes, but I've never really focused that much on the rest of the verse. "You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness." (Matthew 25:23). This is the crux of being the king God has enabled us to be.
As a King, we are in charge of things, as opposed to the general lack of responsibility and/or authority found in the preceding stages. In many cases, we're in charge of people, equipment, money (i.e. budgets), or simply in charge of ourselves. With the great authority comes responsibility, as the cliche goes; and as a King we're obligated to be stewards of what God has given us.
This resonates with my current position in the Army. As a Platoon Leader, I'm in charge of about 35 Soldiers, and several thousand dollars worth of equipment (and taxpayer money, might I add!!!), so it's important for me to ensure that everything is cared for, especially the Soldiers. Although this isn't always in the forefront of my mind, like when I'm told to complete the mission, regardless of the cost (which mostly comes at the expense of those very Soldiers I'm supposed to care for). While it's easy for someone to get caught up in the authority and power that might come with being an officer in the Army, it runs contrary to Christ's commandment that we love our neighbors.
What I find most compelling during this chapter is the notion that one must be worthy of the tasking, not entitled to the "throne". I can't tell you how many people feel they are deserving of the position simply because they've been around long enough. In college, some of my fellow teammates felt they deserved to be a team captain just because they were seniors; however, they're actions didn't always correlate with their classification! Moreover, some Soldiers (both enlisted and officer) believe their time in the service warrants being in a position of power. However, I hearken back to those timeless words of Lord Acton that "power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely."
This dictum has been somewhat of a mantra for me, always guiding me in the direction of moderation. This is not to say that seeking power is inherently corrupt, as it's almost the opposite. In fact, we as Christians are encouraged to take on positions of authority in order to serve others; HOWEVER, we must guard against those immoral tendencies often associated with power, like pride, prejudice, isolation, contempt, and practically everything that we find in the wreckage of a fallen leader. I can think of several men, both religious and secular, who succumbed to the pressures of power and eventually compromised their integrity.
THIS IS WHAT WE SHOULD FOCUS ON. While Eldredge touches on the issues, I don't think he spends near enough time emphasizing the disaster that awaits a man who doesn't guard against these temptations. God is the one who put us in that position. We should never think we are worthy of the responsibility; yet, we must embrace the opportunity He has given us to lead. Incorruptible integrity, immense kindness, humility, generosity, and justice are attributes that the author mentions when determining a man's ability to lead (pg. 237). Furthermore, I believe there's a difference between wanting to lead and being willing to lead. While the desire to do so isn't necessarily impure, a man's willingness to take on responsibility exudes a sense of deference to God, who is ultimately in control.
Men must be willing to lead, but those who exude those characteristics mentioned by the other (and a few more he didn't) are truly worthy of the tasking. Resumes and CV's might be the most common method of determining his abilities in relation to the task, yet it's somewhat difficult to put on paper a man's submission to the ultimate sovereign authority, and how he lives that out in his day to day life. I guess in this case seeing IS believing.

Good Times, Hard Times

2009-07-07T06:40:00.000-07:00

I can't begin to tell you how much fun I had this past weekend! One of the few perks of being in the Army is that you're almost guaranteed a 4 day weekend for a federal holiday, and July 4th is definitely going to be one of them. It was a weekend filled with good times among friends and family, but also some hard times because it made me realize all that I miss about being away from HOME.
The weekend actually started on Thursday afternoon, when Leslie and I casually drove over to Knoxville to stay the night with the Sr. Cragwalls. We got in around 11pm EST (which wasn't that late for us since we live in CST), but mom and dad stayed awake long enough to welcome us to town. We got up the next morning and had breakfast with them at the good 'ol Cracker Barrel before making our way over to West Knoxville to visit our friends the Denny's. Becca and Leslie grew up together in FL, and they just moved to Knoxville last summer when Steve took over as the Athletic Director of Christian Academy of Knoxville (CAK). After lunch and some cute singalongs with their boys, Isaac and Micah, we headed over to Black Mountain, NC for an alumni retreat at Leslie's childhood summer camp.
For almost a decade, Leslie spent every summer at Camp Crestridge for Girls, a fun and exciting place that allowed her to develop her own identity apart from her family and friends back home. This is a side that I've never seen of her, and to observe her in this element gave me a greater appreciation for who she was before me, and who she has become beside me. We also got to see Rusty and Sara Osborne (Leslie's college roommate and fellow Crestridge Cutie Pie alum). They, along with their two daughters, Sophie and Eleanor, just got back from a year long mission in Cameroon, West Africa. Rusty served on faculty as a professor at the local Seminary, an experience that all of them thoroughly enjoyed.
By Saturday night, we had made our way back to Knoxville for another night with the Sr. Cragwalls and got to see a few fireworks off in the distance to celebrate this great national holiday. We spent Sunday morning attending our church home at Providence and got to see some familiar places and had lunch with the Stansells and Millers at another great eatery in K-town...Calhouns!!! Unfortunately, we weren't able to see the McNairs, who were out of town, but did get to spend some time with the Purnells, who introduced us to their new family addition, William (Liam) King Purnell. He's adorable and will look great in UT orange someday! We rounded the day with some good, quality time with my family and some great golf and baseball on the tube.
Monday morning, after dropping off the Volvo for a tune-up, we dropped by the University to hob knob with some old professors, employers and colleagues. Leslie and I both had a blast catching up with everyone and the campus still looks great.
Ok, as you can see, we had a jam-packed schedule throughout our time in TN and NC. It was great to see everyone and catch up on their lives, but we couldn't shake how much we desperately miss our true home. Although we're not that far away in distance, we will never feel at home until we return to Knoxville for good. It's because of these people, and the many others not mentioned in this post, that we continue to count down the days until our return. While it's hard to think about the next year that separates us from moving back, we take comfort in knowing that the Lord has a plan and will fulfill it on his time. Our only hope is that we can conform to it and not lose sight of why He has us here. That last sentence is mainly for me!
Just FYI, I'm about to head out on a two week training exercise, so I'll be "off the net" for a while. I'll continue the Wild Heart study when I return...so make sure you're caught up by then, Wade!
Take care.

Happy 4th!!!

2009-07-02T15:32:00.000-07:00

It's kind of surreal to think that just a year ago this weekend I was crossing over into Iraq. Yet, at the same time it's hard to believe I've already been back for 7 months!
For many years I've looked at the 4th of July as a celebration of the stand our forefathers took against tyranny and oppression, and thankfully I can still look upon this day as one that changed the course of human history; but I cannot shake the fact that this day is one that changed MY world. I just don't look at life the way I did before being dropped into a combat theatre. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it might not be a good thing either. Frankly, it's a sobering feeling because it opened my eyes to the reality that other people don't think, act, speak, worship, or life everyday life the same as us, AND THAT'S OK! I don't want this to sound like a laissez faire attitude, as our pursuit of change to the status quo is exactly what led to the establishment of this great nation. Celebrating our successes, while also acknowledging our faults is what makes us so influential in the world.
You're inevitably going to be reminded of what this holiday remembers and represents. You'll be asked to think and pray for the brave men and women "fighting for your freedom" overseas, and there's nothing wrong with that. But shouldn't we also celebrate the motivation behind every man and woman who willingly goes off to war? YOU are the reason we fight. Just seeing YOU live your life the way you want to is what gives us the encouragement to do what we do. I submit that if you didn't continue to live your life without fear of being oppressed, there's no reason for us to fight anymore.
So.... celebrate your freedoms and liberties! Take comfort in knowing that YOU can do what you want (well, almost!). I thank the good Lord for each one of you that I know and hope you enjoy this holiday and find joy what it means to YOU!
Take care.

Ch. 12: King

2009-06-28T18:13:00.000-07:00

The opening passage of scripture that Eldredge uses, to me, best describes the totality of what God has given us.
"The highest heavens belong to the Lord, but the earth He has given to man."
- Psalm 115:16
Honestly, when I first read through the table of contents of this book, I practically dismissed this chapter as somewhat non-applicable to me since I haven't really done much in the way of my life pursuits/goals. Yet, after reading this scripture, I realized that God has in fact given me a little Kingdom in which to rule over. At present, I am a Platoon Leader, responsible for roughly 40 Soldiers, and I'm several months away from being in charge of another human being...all the livelong day!
Eldredge explicitly states that throughout life you are vested with certain authorities, whether it be over land, animals, or people. In other stages preceding the King, we are given sovereign powers over more than ourselves, and our actions during that time clearly indicate our true priorities. Do we care more about what we're in charge of, or do we use our power and authority to our advantage? For instance, think of your boss. Does he work hard at pleasing you and making your work environment more conducive or productivity? Or, does he use you and your co-workers to make his life better? It's these types of observations that expose the true heart of a man.
While reading this chapter, I frequently found myself reflecting on my interactions with my Soldiers, but also other people that I've been in charge of, or worked with over the years. While I seek to be the servant leader Christ displayed while on earth, I can't really say that I'm ALWAYS carrying myself in that manner. In many instances, I'll drop whatever it is I'm doing to assist a Soldier who's having a pay issue or even a personal issue. However, I can also remember times that I practically blew them off because I had a pressing deadline. It's almost like God is showing me where I've taken one step forward, then two steps back. He definitely let me know that I've got a lot more work to do!
If there's anything that will stick with me during this chapter, it's that in whatever opportunities God has given me to be in charge of other people, if I put myself first, I'm wrong. Simple as that. Just as David provided for his Soldiers and their families, we too must make a concerted effort to serve those under our sphere of influence. In doing so, we're honoring them and the Holy father, who gave us this earth in which to live and grow.
On a separate note, I ask for continued prayer for Leslie, as she still hasn't quite kicked the nausea of pregnancy. We're both getting pretty irritated with the uncertainty of each day, but Lord willing, it will finally end soon!
Take care.

Anniversary #5...and #39

2009-06-26T10:11:00.000-07:00

If I've learned anything about marriage it's that you can forget YOUR birthday, or maybe even HER birthday (a close, close second), but you absolutely CANNOT forget your anniversary. Luckily, I have never done this, but pity on he who does!
For those of you who hit the 5 year mark a decade or two ago, I'm sure you probably don't remember this one as much as the others; but the funny thing is that I can't believe Les and I have only been married this long. Honestly, it feels like we've been together for so much longer (even though we dated for 1 1/2 years before exchanging vows). It's hard to even remember life without her and I definitely can't fathom having to go through life without her by my side.
Celebrating marriage, I think, is a beautiful thing and one that men need to take the lead on. It shows your wife how much you care about her and that you are honoring those words you spoke on your wedding day. Take pride in that and let others know you are excited about it.
If you're wondering why I put #39 in the title, it's because Les and I were married on the same day as her parents, who are celebrating their 39th anniversary today. Congrats Kelly and Susan! Les and I look forward to our lives together throughout the next 34 years...and beyond!
Take care.

Love Stands

2009-06-24T18:02:00.000-07:00

Love came down to earth two thousand years ago
To mend a broken heart, to lead us all back home
The greatest example that there could ever be
Was right there on a hill for the world to see

These are lyrics from a beautiful song that my friend Jason Cox wrote entitled "Love Stands". The whole song is about how we as human have made mistakes, or knowingly chosen the wrong path in life; yet throughout all our shortcomings and failures, the love Christ has for us remains firm and never falters. For many of us, it's hard to believe that God loves us NO MATTER WHAT. Think of the worst thing you've ever done, said, thought, felt, or wished (for some of us, this won't be very hard) and then say to yourself, "God still loves me."
I know, I know. This kind of sounds like one of those self-help activities designed to make you feel better about yourself; but the truth is, he does! There's nothing you could possibly do to make God NOT love you anymore. Now, think about the worst thing SOMEONE ELSE has ever done, said, thought, felt, or wished upon YOU. How did that make you feel or react? Was it hard to love that person despite their vendetta against you? Right now all you are probably thinking, "Heck ya, man!" If that's the case, I submit to you that if we as Christians are called to be Christ-like, are we (to use that modern cliche') doing what Jesus would do?
Look, I know it's hard, almost impossible at times, to love someone when they're hurt you, but if Christ himself loves YOU despite all the bad things you've done in your life, how can we not forgive and show love to a person who's wronged us? The only way for us to truly have a positive impact on this world is to show his love in all cases, under all circumstances. By doing this we can show the world, especially unbelievers, that when all is said and done in this world, Love will Stand.
For more great works by Jason Cox (and his lovely wife Lena) check out their websites at
www.myspace.com/coxroxmusic and www.myspace.com/lenahoodmusic

Ch. 11: Raising the Lover

2009-06-21T14:32:00.000-07:00

"Learning to be loved, and learning to love, learning to be romanced, and learning to romance - that is what this stage is all about." (p. 216)
Although it might be a nice, easy cop out to simply post that quote by Eldredge and move on to the mighty King-dom, I think this chapter/stage deserves a little more commentary. Mainly because it's so hard for MEN to think about being loved and romanced (especially the latter).
There's no doubt that thinking about God the Father makes it difficult to consider that He wants to romance a dude. Honestly, it sounds weird just reading it; but the reality is that God wants to show his love for us just like we want to romance our wives (and yes ladies, we do want to, we just might not do a very good job at it!). When He romances us, he's speaking to our hearts in a manner that appeals to our emotions and makes us feel loved and special, just like the woman in each of our lives wants to feel.
I think the above quote by the author falls short in that it needs a little more specificity. We need to learn to be loved and romanced by God before we can learn to truly love Him and love others (especially a woman). Just as love is a two-way street, so too is romance. I think we can romance God in return by pursuing him through prayer, reading of scripture, and our interaction with others. Just as the greatest commandment tells us to love God and love others, we have got to focus on loving God first. Through this relationship, our love can carry over into relationships with other people.
When I first began the pursuit of winning the heart of my beautiful bride (who's half a day short of going three days w/o puking!), she felt romanced through my daily walk with Christ. By putting that relationship above our's, it showed Leslie my priorities and enabled her to feel comfortable about me being the leader in our future family. Conversely, through my relationship with Him and the love I showed towards Leslie, I was romancing God.
I know this might sound kind of sappy and cheesy to you men, but scripture confirms how we should uphold this mentality and lifestyle. Look at the writings of the Psalmist, the poetry and songs he wrote to express his intoxicating love for the Creator. This is a man who had taken down the biggest, baddest dude in the land; had lived the life of a rambler in the wild to avoid being slain by the King of Israel; and will forever be known as the man after God's own heart. Think about that for a minute, a man who pursued the heart of God!
Our culture, with all it's masculinity and hardheadedness, should not overshadow the type of relationship we as men are called to have with God. Most importantly, I firmly believe that the strength of our relationship with Him will forever strengthen our marriages and the bonds of brotherhood with other believers. That's the kind of life I want to have.
P.S. Happy Father's Day to all you dad's out there...and the dad's to be like me!

Her Eggo Is Preggo

2009-06-17T14:57:00.000-07:00

If you haven't seen the movie Juno, then you won't quite understand this title; but one of my favorite actors, Rainn Wilson (Dwight Schrute from The Office), played a convenient store clerk who uses this phrase to break the news to the young, teenages that she's pregnant. Thankfully, art doesn't imitate real life in this case, as my wife of 5 years (who's one bday shy of 30) is officially 12 weeks pregnant!

We had our first "Ok, we could be pregnant" moment on the morning of my birthday (best present I could ever get!), and at the beginning of this month we got to see our little addition in the ultrasound above. We go back to the Dr. at the end of the month to hear the heartbeat, but thus far everything seems to be on schedule....with the exception of the morning sickness going away.

Yes, my beautiful flower has been puking her guts out (almost literally) for the past 6 weeks and there's really no end in sight at this moment. And by the way, it's not just "morning" sickness...it's all stinkin' day sickness! I have no clue what I'm having for dinner each night because we have to wait and see what images of food pop in her head and don't make her want to blow chunks, hurl, spew, upchuck, unswallow or any other elaborate euphemism used in the cult classic Wayne's World. Lord willing, this too will pass and we'll be one step closer to having our evenings back to normal; but for now, just pray that Les can keep her food down since she's eating for two.

Sorry we couldn't tell all of you in person or at least individually, but it just seemed easier to blast it out blog style.

Hope all is well and we'll keep you posted on the progress. I'm not praying for a particular sex, so don't ask. I'm just praying for a healthy, complete little Cragwall.

Take care.

Ch. 10: The Lover

2009-06-16T05:38:00.000-07:00

So, I know I'm a little late in writing this post, but I have good reason. This past weekend, Freight Train (see 4/22 post for who this is) and I went up to Mammoth Cave for what we thought was going to be a canoeing and fishing trip on the Park's Green River. Due to some bad weather that swept through the area earlier in the week, the river rose too high for us to canoe, which also meant no fishing. After a bit of searching and creative thinking, we decided to take a tour of Mammoth Cave and drive up north of the Park to Nolin Lake and camp out on a remote strip of land (which we had to get to by canoe). Despite not catching any fish, the two of us made something out of nothing and this enabled us to take in some of the beautiful scenery around us.
I mention all of this because I had a similar experience to the one Eldredge writes about in the beginning of this chapter. It's hard to be outside in the wilderness and NOT admire the beauty of God's creation. Like many, I feel Him communicating to me through my admiration of nature, especially when I think about how God gives the birds of the air and flowers of the ground all the need to survive, so why wouldn't he give us the same? Too many times, we as humans worry about not getting what we need, when all throughout scripture we are told how he will always provide for us.... because he LOVES us!
In my opinion, the word love has become so distorted and bastardized in today's society that it's hard to tell whether, or to what extent, a person truly feels it. Most importantly, I question how many Christians really love God in the way we're supposed to. This is mainly due to the English translation of the word from Greek origins, which had four prominent words to describe love. First, and most importantly is Agape love, which describes man's love for God. Only He can receive the type of all-encompassing, all-consuming affection for our creator. Second is Eros, the passionate/romantic love that a man has for his spouse. This too is only meant for one being. Third is Philia, or love of friendship, which can be felt towards several people (think the disciples). Fourth, Storge is the love and affection we have towards our parents, siblings, and other family members. Although Thelema, or "desire", is considered to be a form of love, I hesitate to say it's real love since it is more emotional and not grounded in morality and godliness. Many equate this with lust or greed because it's based on one's desire for something.
I write all this to say that we have to focus on the first before we can truly and completely experience the others. Agape love is THE love because it lays the groundwork for our ability to exude and receive the other types of love in a way that fulfills God's will and purpose for our lives. THAT is what Eldredge encourages us men to focus on in the chapter since it supersedes all the rest. By doing so, we'll experience ALL of love, not just some of it.
I'm going to break this up since it's already a long post! So, more to follow.

Ch. 9: Raising The Warrior

2009-06-03T16:46:00.000-07:00

Despite my little "Debby downer" post from last week, make no mistake, my feet are firmly planted in the Warrior stage! But again, this isn't just because "I'm a warrior and a member of a team" as the Army Soldier's Creed (not) so eloquently states. Being a member of the Army doesn't automatically catapult a Boy into the Warrior stage, but that doesn't mean a man's desire to fight for his country isn't the kind of noble pursuit that Eldredge describes. In fact, it's exactly the kind of fight he's talking about. Much of the reason I joined the service was due to an overwhelming sense of conviction to serve, and I personally think it takes an act of bravery to act on those feelings. The combination of these two characteristics is what can lead to the epic story the author mentions.
Now that I've thrown out my props to "America's finest", I want to move to why I think I'm a Warrior...which ironically doesn't have anything to do with being in the Army! While I'm sure some will argue that there is nothing more nobler than when a man fights for his COUNTRY, I submit to you that the greatest fight in a man is for his FAITH. That is where I want to be.
Through several cinematic analogies, Eldredge paints the reckless abandon found in each protagonist and his struggle to control those emotions and become the Warrior he is destined to be. When looking at my personal walk, I realize how much energy I have within me to do something worthwhile; yet, the question for me is what to focus all that time and energy on. Eldredge suggests doing mission work, or something else bold and daring, in an attempt to evoke all the passion and drive we have built up inside. That sounds very appealing to me and something I hope to do in the near future. He also talks about standing up for what you believe in, with both the humility and conviction Christ himself displayed.
I think this is where Wade and I have connected over the time we've known each other. We both have this desire to do something, but haven't had our own "aha" moments and realized what God has in store for us. It's almost like we're thorough horses getting herded into the barrier stalls, fighting against God because we don't know how long we're going to have to stay in such an uncomfortable place (i.e. boring job, town, church, etc), when all we want is to explode out of the gates and take off running as fast as we can with all our might. At times it's like I can hear God whispering in my ear, "Whoa boy... easy now.... just get in the stall and wait for the bell to ring." THAT is what it feels like to raise a warrior, having enough strength to run the race, but needing the discipline just to get in the stall!

I'm Going To Pick A Fight

2009-05-29T13:27:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite movie quotes occurs in Braveheart, when William Wallace is asked by his good friend Hamish Campbell where he's going. "I'm going to pick a fight" he says in his thick Scottish accent as he rides off to provoke British Lords into a battle that he inevitably wins.
That, I think, is how we are to approach certain issues in our lives. Rather than be passive and wait for something to happen to us, we are to take charge and do what we think is right, no matter the consequences.
My personal experiences are almost the exact opposite from Wade, as my unwillingness to fight in those same instances have been some of my greatest regrets. Frankly, I didn't really care where I went to college, I just wanted to play baseball. So, I settled for whatever school offered me a chance to play. While I don't look at going to CNC as a bad thing (especially since that's where I met my wife), I have always wondered if I could have played Division I, or gone to a school with a better program. My passivity in trying to get a starting position on the team led me to transfer to a school that I didn't really have to fight for a position, it was mine to lose.
When determining where to go to graduate school, I just went with whatever school would accept me. Thankfully UTK was willing to let me in because I seriously doubt any other school would admit someone with my academic stature (or lack thereof). Once again, I don't look at this as a mistake, but I will forever wonder what could have been. When informed that I would be going into the Army's Ordnance Corps (which at the time I knew nothing about) rather than the Intelligence field I hoped for, I grudgingly accepted without even trying to seek a branch transfer.
Unfortunately, I can list off about a dozen other instances in my life where I just accepted my fate and moved on. My only explanation at the time was that if God wanted me anywhere else, he would've put me there. Man, was I stupid! You see, I was UNWILLING to fight. Rather than try to pursue an opportunity, I sat back hoping and praying that God's will would be in line with my own, when each time he might have been testing me to see if I REALLY wanted it. This pattern of reluctance is partly due to my habitual lack of self-confidence; but each time I was paralyzed by the innate passivity all men inherited from Adam when he failed to take charge of his family and overcome the temptation of Satan in the Garden. To think that man doesn't have to fight for practically EVERYTHING in life is one of the Devil's greatest deceptions.
It's been said that if you don't have to fight for it, then it's not worth having. Maybe that should be your standard for determining what you really want in life. I know that's how I'm trying to live my life now. I'll elaborate more in the next chapter, where the notion of raising the Warrior has resonated with me.

Ch. 8: The Warrior

2009-05-18T18:28:00.000-07:00

To use a golf analogy, we've "made the turn" on this study and since Wade's been taking the lead on each week's chapter, I think it's time I start "teeing off" first. So, I'm going to try to be the first one to post my thoughts on the reading and allow my counterpart to supplement the discussion with his musings.
If I were a betting man, I would throw down a hefty sum on the notion that every man wants to be a Warrior...or at least be seen as a Warrior. It's practically huMAN nature for a dude to fight in honor of something, whether it be his own personal pride or, dare I say, the common good for all mankind. Eldredge (and I) view this as an inherent trait that everyone possesses; yet we all exude it differently and on various levels. Both Christians and non-Christians fight, and I would submit to you that man fights either for himself or for Him.
Motives behind man's desire to fight are plentiful, and some fruitful; but his inability to act on those instincts can be crippling and take a devastating toll on every aspect of his life. Some were (to use Eldredge's oft-quoted term) emasculated by their father, older brother, grade school bully, or even a friend; however, each man made the conscious decision to quit fighting back and become habitually passive. THIS, it could be argued, has led to the degradation of Christian Warriors.
I view this chapter as a soberin gut-check because all it's asking the reader is the following:
What in your life is worth fighting for? Is it your career, marriage, family, integrity, personal legacy? Frankly, how you answer this question determines, not only your priorities in life, but the true state of your heart and soul. Are you fighting for you or for Him?
More to follow.

Train To Fight or Fight To Train???

2009-05-10T18:43:00.000-07:00

When I originally started this blog, my intent was to publish some "insider" information about life in the Army. Throughout my deployment to Iraq, I consistently posted about my experiences in theatre, and even though I am back in the States and participating in (what I think is) a great discussion on being a man with my good friend Wade, I think I should still post about my tenure in the service.
Since my return to Fort Campbell, several people have asked me what I'm currently doing on a daily basis. It's pretty simple...we're training for our next deployment. What this entails though is a complicated process of replenishing our ranks with new personnel. About every 3 or so years, soldiers move on to different stations across the country and around the world, while others start making their way to Fort Campbell. Some will come from another duty station, while others are coming straight out of Boot camp and job schools. So, we have to train these new Soldiers how to fight the way WE fight. This consists of both classroom and on the job training (OJT).
However, without a doubt the WORST part of being back in the States is the paperwork/regulation abiding/planning/busy work we do every day. You see, the Army has to justify the massive amounts of money it receives from taxpayers, so its leaders make up all these requirements for us to do to fill time at work. Moreover, just like every other organization (both civilian and government) we have to abide by federal, state and local regulations. This is the kind of stuff that can drive a sane man crazy (present company included), and there's no way we officers can both plan AND train. I haven't picked up a weapon since I got back from Iraq; I stand around and watch people just to tell them what they're doing wrong; and I attend more meetings in one week that most people attend in a month!
So, for those of you who think those recruiting commercials on television represent just a normal day at the office....not so much!
Take care.

Ch. 7: Sam's Year

2009-05-02T11:25:00.001-07:00

Where have all the initiators gone???
I hate to say it, but Wade's got a point. He's managed to pinpoint an historical right of passage that has become exactly that...history!
In an attempt to discern the various reasons for this dissipation, I think the greatest contributing factor is the modernization of civilization. Our ability to provide the basic necessities to sustain life has become much easier over the past 100 years and, as Wade mentioned, acquiring those goods have always been the primary role of men. The natural progression of this world has opened up a wealth of options for man to provide for his family without having to obtain it directly. I don't have to milk a cow, build a house, or chop wood anymore, since someone else can do it for me. There are more technical trades now than before, so man can learn a skill (or set of skills) with little effort or practice. Also, increased educational opportunities have contributed significantly to this evolutionary process.
In regards to Wade's discussion of the "group", Eldredge goes to great lengths (I think) to emphasize the importance of showing the strength that is found in the men that make up the group. Man can do a lot by himself, but without the help of his predecessors (i.e. their guidance, support, encouragement) he is less likely to excel. That's what Eldredege was trying to show his son Sam. He can't become a man by himself. It has to be done through the relationships with men, through MENtorship.
I've been part of clubs, organizations, cliques and the like. As a freshman and sophomore, I learned through observing juniors and seniors. Moreover, I took on more responsibility only when it was given to me by someone older and more experienced than myself.
In sum, I'd like to answer Wade's question with a question: Is initiation into manhood a thing of the past, or has it simply manifested itself in different ways that reflect modernity?

Oops!!!

2009-04-27T05:26:00.000-07:00

Ok, I made a little mistake with regard to my synopsis of each chapter...I skipped Ch. 5! Oh well, thankfully Wade has kept on track and provided us with an idea of Eldredge's message.
Another good aspect of the book is that one chapter deals with the stage, while the succeeding chapter focuses on "raising" him while in that stage. Rather than discuss what I read last night in Ch. 7, I'll just respond to what my good friend wrote.
When thinking about doing something EPIC, sometimes it can be a life changing experience, or possibly the changing of a lifestyle. Going back to why I joined the Army, I have to admit that there was a commingling of several different reasons. First off, I felt conviction. After all, I was of age, physically fit and possessed a strong desire to serve in the public realm. Also, I'd been sitting in a classroom learning and debating the various aspects of what was referred to at the time as Global War on Terror (GWOT) and was ready to play an active role. However, there were some "opportunistic" reasons that also played a factor. With public service in mind, I knew that veterans receive preference when applying for federal jobs, so it was a good way of getting "a foot in the door." Also, if any of you know my history, in the past I've expressed an interest in running for public office, and again being a veteran is definitely a plus. HOWEVER, what I have experienced throughout my time in the service has been the exact opposite of what "planned." I no longer have a desire to run for office and working for the Feds isn't that appealing to me anymore. During this time "in the wilderness" I have begun LISTENING to God and seeking His will for my life. My selfish ambition has finally taken a backseat to God's will and a focus on serving him and others in another capacity has emerged. Honestly, I don't know where it's going to take me after my time is up; but just like Wade, I have a passion for the profound and am beginning to seek out ways that I can find the godly fulfillment in life that He wants men to have. Oddly enough, this doesn't mean going on another journey somewhere else, since Les and I plan on moving back to Knoxville. I still want to finish school and get the coveted "Post hole Digger", and we want to be close to our family and friends. Yet, something is stirring and I'm trying my best to listen to God and seek the counsel of godly men.
I encourage those of you men who are feeling that same desire inside of you to make a concerted effort to spend time in communication with God and find out what he's trying to tell you. Also, talk with important men in your lives and get their advice on what you should do. Taking these two steps will ensure that you're making the right decision and the Lord will comfort and ease the hearts of loved ones who might be a little skeptical of your idea. Don't give up and remember Phillipians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."
Take care.

Another Manlationship

2009-04-22T19:04:00.000-07:00

If you haven't already noticed it, I'm getting a little attached to the term "manlationship." I think it's a great one word description for a particular relationship that men can have with each other. In honor of that, I'd like to describe another close friend of mine... a LIFELONG friend.
I've written about Freightrain Knox before, particularly our climatic and climactic ascent to good 'ol Rocky Top. It's a prime example of how two men can share a common love for adventure, but more importantly, a desire to SHARE that experience with ANOTHER man.
Wade mentioned how beneficial it can be to find a man to help guide you into another stage, or one who you can guide into the stage you're in; yet, I think it's just as important to find someone who's going through the SAME stage as you. Not only can the two of you share in those same experiences at the same time, but it's also a great opportunity to "compare notes."
Train was one of the first people I met when my family moved to Jefferson City, TN back in 1988. We spent 10 years together on the swim team, and we've spent another 10 years as close friends who genuinely care about each other. Unlike Train, I don't have any brothers (he's got two), but I can honestly say that he's the closest I'll ever come to having one. Sure, I've got a brother-in-law and Jimmy IS my family, but we didn't grow up together. Jeff, on the other hand, has been with me through ever stage of life. He's one of the funniest guys I've ever met and he's the most loyal, hard-working person you'll ever come across. Moreover, he's become a better man thanks to his "better half" Lindsay, just like Leslie's helped turn me around. He was my last roommate before getting married and he spent the last days of his bachelorhood at my house. We've been through some awesome adventures and the great thing is that the best are yet to come.
When I look at the relationship of Jonathan and David in the Old Testament, I can't help but think about much I care about him and want to see him succeed in life. Frankly, it's impossible for me to think that someone could misconstrue our relationship as feminine or "gay." More importantly, I can't see how men would WANT to go through life without a friend like that in their lives. Read through scripture and you'll find a host of verses that defend this type of lifestyle and while I'm not saying that men who don't have such a relationship are living outside of God's will, I do think they're missing out!
On to the next chapter!

Bromance???

2009-04-21T19:08:00.000-07:00

Leslie and I are active participants in a bible study with Officer's Christian Fellowship. We meet every Tuesday night for dinner and "the Word", something we look forward to each week. For the next several weeks, we have split up by gender and us guys have started a study of 1 Samuel, what Lt. (Luke) Rella accurately titled "Bromance" study!
I think this is somewhat of an adequate title for what Wade described at the end of his post. In his words:

1. We need to be looking for who around us is in the stage we're moving toward and able (by this I mean willing) to bestow on us their time & talents; and
2. We need to be looking for who around us is in the stage we're leaving that we can lead.

Actually it's not THAT relevant to what he mentioned, but it's definitely a catchy title! What Wade's talking more about is the notion of mentorship, from either end of the phase. Although it might seem difficult to discern what stage another person is in, it's not inconceivable. It's very possible to find someone your age who's already been in the Cowboy stage and is moving on the Warrior stage. On the other hand, it's very likely to have someone your age that hasn't quite grown up yet. So, you can't always assume that someone your age is in the exact same stage of life as you.
Going back to the bible study that my small group is doing, I think looking at scripture is a great way to, especially with another man, is a great way to transition into or out of a stage. This "road" isn't meant to be traveled alone and I think it's something God EXPECTS of us. A prime example of this is the relationship that Wade and I have developed over the years. While there are some life experiences we share, there are several things that he's experienced already that I'm going through now. Relationships like these shouldn't be one person giving to the other. Quid Pro Quo definitely applies to "man-lationships".
Here's a question I would like to pose, it doesn't have to be answered, but definitely pondered: Is there anyone in your life that you think might be able to help you transition into another phase, OR someone you can help foster into your current stage?

Ch. 6: Raising the Cowboy

2009-04-19T17:48:00.000-07:00

I want to begin my post by saying that this chapter most definitely struck a chord with me. Throughout each page, all I could do was sit back and reflect on where I've been and where I want to go. Although I could ramble on for hours about this stuff, I'm going to focus more on what Wade wrote, adding a little of my own experiences and opinions to affirm what he was saying... with maybe a little dissension.
First off, I'm surprised Wade was able remember all the way back to his 6th grade dance parties!!! HAHAHA!!! (Sorry, had a throw a quick jab). In all seriousness though, I think his unique analogy holds water when looking at the initiative that man must take in order to get initiated by God. When examining the agent (i.e., action, statement, thought, etc.) that is needed to bring about change in a man's life, I think there's a little stirring of the Holy Spirit at work. I once had a friend ask what led me to salvation. Without hesitation I said, "I just felt this pulling at my heart, something inside of me that was leading me to Him." As if Bryan had predicted my response, he immediately asked me another question, "Where do you think that came from?" "The Holy Spirit" I said. "Exactly," he mused, "so did you choose him, or did he choose you???" Without going off on a predestination tangent, I tell that story only to argue that that most men seek to initiate change based on the movement of the Holy Spirit. I would even posit that this is the catalyst for transitioning from the Beloved Son to the Cowboy.
Walk with me on this trail, if you will: according to Eldredge, man yearns to feel loved, and he inevitably asks God this question, "do you love me, Lord?" To which He replies, "Yes, you are my beloved son....now get going!" I believe this is the moment when God tells the Boy that he is ready to become a Cowboy.
Now, to Wade's mention of where He wants us to go. Although Eldredge doesn't lay out any specific destinations, he does STRONGLY encourage a type of locale. This is where I feel a deep connection to this chapter, because over the past couple of years I have developed a sincere passion for the outdoors, particularly the mountains.
Despite growing up at the base of the Smoky Mtns, I can't say that I am much of an outdoorsman. I used to kid around that I loved to be outdoors, as long as it was fenced in! However, throughout my own personal masculine journey, I have started looking to nature as my "sanctuary", and that was before I joined the Army. This environment is where I think men should go when searching for God's direction for their life, especially those who do not normally partake in outdoor activities. If you were to look at practically all the major men in Scripture, each spent time "in the wilderness" with God. Moses, David, John the Baptist, Jesus, Paul, and a host of others all sought refuge in the wild when communicating with the great I Am. So, if you're feeling an urge to do something different, maybe you should go get a map of the nearest wooded area and start walking. I guarantee you He won't let you get lost!
Back to the dance for a quick point: we are all change targets, whether we like it or not. What we all need to discern is that agent in our individual lives. Frankly, I'm in the "wilderness" right now, aka the Army. God took Les and I away from our friends and family for some alone time, and what I'm trying to figure out now is what to do when we return home.
OK, this chapter has way too much good stuff to write one post on, so I'll save the rest of later.
I speak for both of us when I say that we eagerly await some responses!
Take care.

Calling All MEN!!!

2009-04-12T17:41:00.000-07:00

It's been roughly a month since Wade and I have begun this "discussion" on Eldredge's The Way of the Wild Heart and we've both been enjoying our time spent on this project. HOWEVER, it's mainly just been the TWO OF US talking about how this book relates to our lives. After getting to spend a little time together this weekend, we've both been wondering who, if anyone, has been reading our blogs and/or the book. "What do we need to do in order to get a little feedback from guys?" Wade asked me yesterday. Unfortunately, I couldn't come up with an answer.
IF there is anyone reading either the blog or the book, WE WOULD LOVE YOU INPUT!!! It can be in the form of simply commenting on our blogs, or starting your own discussion board (aka, a blog) if you feel compelled elaborate on your thoughts. Honestly, we don't really care how you comment, JUST COMMENT!!! (I know the capital letters and exclamation points might be a little annoying, but I'm trying emphasize the tone of my voice).
We've gone through the first four chapters, but there are still several left and we really don't want to go through this alone. You don't even have to read the book, as I feel that two synopses should suffice in getting the author's point across; but I'm sure a topic or question has stirred something in your brain that is worthy of mentioning. While I don't want this to sound like a desperate plea for participation, it's definitely a call for assistance in learning more about becoming the man God wants us all to be.
Take care.

God the FATHER

2009-04-07T11:50:00.001-07:00

When thinking about raising the Beloved Son, it seems that there are many similarities between the way God raised Jesus Christ, HIS Beloved Son. There are many instances throughout the New Testament where we see how He delighted in his son. The most explicit account is when Christ is baptized. After he is raised out of the water and the heavens open up, a voice from heaven says, "This is My Beloved Son. I take delight in Him!" (Matt 4:17). Although these same actions didn't take place during my baptism, I can honestly say that I felt as though God was telling me this. Moreover, I remember how proud my father was that night, and he delighted in me.
Throughout this chapter, Eldredge focuses on the importance of feeling loved by fathers during boyhood, and there is some merit behind this way of thinking. However, I'm not so sure it's essential to being a man. The author recounts a story of a man who confronted his father about the lack of love and affection he received as a boy, and how he wanted his father to be proud and delight in him. "I can't. My father never did that for me" was the father's response. While I do not dispute this father's inability to do so at the time, does it mean he is forever incapable of exuding these fatherly characteristics if they were never predisposed to it themselves? I argue that he is capable, but it will take some time for him to develop them and give his son what he needs.
It's impractical to think that a man has got to seek and receive the approval of his father before he can begin to pass on those feelings to his son, and I don't think that's what Eldredge is trying to say. Instead, each man can look to the Holy Father for this strength and character, and THAT is what the author is pointing out. If you as a man/father think you are incapable of expressing the love and affection that is needed to raise the Beloved Son, then look to God for it. Just like God delighted in Jesus, he does the same with you. More importantly, he will SHOW you this in your life.
Here are some questions I want you to chew on for a bit: Do you think God delights in you? If so, how and why/not?

Ch. 4: Raising the Beloved Son

2009-04-06T13:38:00.000-07:00

Wade has started the chapter off with some really deep, heartfelt answers, and I only hope to add a little of my point of view to it. Feeling like a Beloved Son, yet not feeling like I'm the most important person in my father's life is probably the most important aspect of my childhood that I took from this.
I really appreciate the story Eldredge tells of spending time with his son Luke while the rest of the boys were out of town. However, this is mainly how I felt most of my life growing up because I was the ONLY son. This doesn't mean that my father neglected my sisters, (quite the opposite) but being the only boy made it easier to have his attention when we were doing masculine things. Wade's point about the difference between raising boys and girls speaks to the relationship between him and my sibs.
Also, when thinking about bringing out the "inner boy" who needs to feel loved and protected, it's hard for me to think that's always necessary. Does he mean that a man has got to come to grips with the fact that he was neglected or abused as a child? Or that they need a good cry to get it out? Furthermore, I do think it's possible for a non-Beloved Son to raise a Beloved Son. A man doesn't have to let the inner boy out before he can be the kind of father that loves his son. This is evidenced by my dad, who I believe was a NBS (acronym seems relevant).
When I was young, one aspect of "quality time" with dad was watching movies, particularly James Bond. It is something he grew up doing and it was only natural that he expose his children to this world of imagination. Even to this day, we love going to movies together and critiquing them after we're done. This is probably the only time that we communicate with each other, but just being around him makes me feel loved.
I'm going to elaborate a little more on this topic later, but I have to attend to a banquet this evening and the wife is yelling at me to get ready!
Take care!

Youa Culpa!

2009-04-01T17:36:00.000-07:00

Since Wade dropped the Mea Culpa bomb on his inability to stick to schedule, I won't hassle him too much; yet, my hope is that others will also jump in and hold him to his word...however "loose" it might be!
My good friend really hit on the crux of fatherhood, that of providing and protecting for his family. I think this particular facet is a great way to do a self-check (for you fathers), but also how to prepare for the journey (for those of us who aren't). More importantly, it's an opportunity to reflect on what your father did right or wrong.
To answer Wade's questions:
- My father didn't travel a lot, but he did work a lot. Two jobs in two different towns required a lot of his time, especially weekends. Although it took away from time at home, his sole priority was financially providing for me and the girls.
- There's no doubt that both he and my mother went without in order to provide for us. It seemed like every time they got their savings up, one of us did something that completely wiped it out. I think the proudest my parents have ever been of me was when I became financially independent from them (thanks to the wifey)!
- This one's a little tricky because it's a matter of opinion. I doubt my sisters would agree with me on this; but going back to the first bullet point, my parents were maybe TOO willing to help us financially, despite the lesson we could have learned. Don't get me wrong, my selfish nature would probably be really bitter at them if they let me go into serious debt rather than bail me out. While I never had a credit card growing up, that was mainly because I was living on credit with them! They both have a hundred stories of me wanting something at that moment and "promising" to pay them back!
There's no doubt that my father looked at his job as the means of providing for us, but he also viewed his work as service to the Lord, especially his time as the Director of the Media Ministry at our church. At times I resented him for going up to the church after teaching all day and spending maybe 30 minutes to an hour at the house; but when I got older, I realized his commitment to honoring the Father in his work. I know he would've much rather been at the house with us; yet, he was CALLED to serve and I sincerely regret any animosity towards him for that.
My ol' pal dad most definitely provided me with the protection and stability I needed to be a boy and grow up at my own pace. Furthermore, he allowed me to make my choices, regardless of the consequences, but was there to help me when I needed it.
When I look at Wade and Tori together, I can't help but think that he's doing the same thing! I just hope I can follow suit.

Ch. 3: Boyhood

2009-03-30T18:29:00.000-07:00

I often tell people that I don't really remember much about my childhood. The truth is, I don't. Sure, I remember some of things I used to do on a regular basis, like go to the City pool or play at the Little League baseball field. But I honestly don't have very many memories of my childhood like many of you reading this probably do. It's not that my upbringing was abnormal or nearly as difficult as some I've met throughout the years, because I honestly believe I had a good childhood. Frankly, I think it's exactly the opposite. I had TOO MANY good memories to remember them all!
The boyhood phase, as Eldredge describes it, is the most definitive period in a boy's life. It's the time when he learns how to be a male, and the one who shows him how to do this is either his father or an older male who plays a prominent role in his everyday life. In short, this man shows the boy that he is the Beloved Son. Although the boy's real father is the most preferable male to play this role, Eldredge doesn't limit this role so specifically. Many boys live without their real fathers, so it's impossible to believe that a boy can't go through this phase without being raised by that ONE person. A grandfather, uncle, stepfather, or even neighbor could easily provide the boy with the masculine contact needed to feel loved and cared for.
Eldredge tells the story of how his father "checked out" of his life and the lasting effect it had on him. Despite being there in body, he was absent in mind and spirit. His father's alcoholism took the purity of boyhood from him and the scars are still present in his life. This has happened to many men; however, I'm so thankful to say that it's not something I can sympathize with. While I cannot look back on the memory of my ol' pal dad teaching me how to ride a bike (big sisters checked that box for me), there is one moment with him that I will forever cherish. He took me to the old intramural field at Carson Newman and threw BP to me until his arm was about to fall off. The smile on his face every time I hit one past him showed me that I was his Beloved Son.

Quick Update

2009-03-28T14:39:00.000-07:00

Although I'm in the midst of examining the masculine journey, I've been informed by She Who Must Be Obeyed (ala David Feherty) that I still need to discuss Life in the Army. So, in that spirit, here are a few things that have happened to me lately.
First, I am no longer wearing a "butter bar" on my chest! For those of you less schooled in the rank lingo, that means I got promoted from Second Lieutenant to First Lieutenant. Despite still being an LT, I get a pretty nice raise and strangers have the impression that I could pin on Captain any day now. If only they knew the truth!
Another big issue has to do with my health. Unfortunately, things haven't been going very well for me lately. I attempted to start Air Assault School (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Army_Air_Assault_School) this past Thursday; however, it was cut short due to a nasty spill I took at the top of about a 20 foot rope. To make a long story short (too late), I've been having chest pains, shortness of breath, and dizzy spells. At this point, the doctors aren't too sure what's wrong with me, so I've begun a somewhat extensive process of tests ranging from x-rays and EKGs to heart monitors and echocardiograms. Lord willing, I'll get a better idea of what my heart is trying to tell me.
I hope this doesn't worry too many of you, because Leslie's taking care of that for the both of us. I'm trying to remain calm, but it's difficult at times. I ask for your prayers during this time and will keep you all posted on my status over the next few weeks.
Take care and tune in for more on the Wild Heart!

New Allegiances

2009-03-25T17:12:00.000-07:00

I love my family...absolutely love them. It's hard for me to imagine living without my parents, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, and even though two of my grandparents have passed on, I've been blessed to have the other two throughout much of my life. Although I am fully aware of the fact that I could very well have to do so, it pains me even more to think of spending eternity apart from them.
One cannot dispute how important family relationships are to the Christian life; yet, Jesus Christ himself said that one's earthly family should never take precedence over his heavenly family.
"Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring, peace, but a SWORD. For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law - a man's enemies will be the members of his own household." (Matt. 10:34-36)
WHAT!?!?!? I must treat my own family as my enemy?!?!?! Absolutely... IF they aren't a part of your heavenly family. Christ is telling us that our eternal family is our REAL family, since eternity is a lot longer than a man's life. For some of you, this might be disheartening, especially if some of your loved ones aren't believers. I myself feel a sense of urgency when thinking of family and friends who haven't accepted God's sufficient grace and become part of "the family."
As depressing as this might sound, it's important to understand the role that YOU play in that unbelievers life and how much of an impact you can be on their ETERNAL life. After all, this is what we as Christians are called to do... especially you MEN!
Take care.

Ch. 2: True Son Of A True Father

2009-03-21T14:48:00.000-07:00

"Are you saying Jesus Christ can't hit a curve ball?"
I felt is necessary to quote one of my favorite lines from the movie Wade mentioned in his blog, and not just because it's funny. Actually, I think it's very applicable to the topic at hand.
In the story mentioned by my brother from another mother, Sam felt as though God didn't want him to buy a kayak because he didn't think God wanted anything good for him. Although there have been a number of times that I've felt the same way, I have to continuously remind myself that it's just NOT true. Eldredge himself points to a number of verses in the Bible where God repeatedly assures us that he will provide for us (Matt. 6:26-28; 7:9-14).
One of my favorite aspects of Spring is the blooming of nature. It amazes me how plants and flowers can "hibernate" during the winter and suddenly regrow as it begins to warm up. While I'm not a fan of mowing the lawn, I can't help but admire the beauty of fresh, green grass. These are just some examples of how God provides for something much less important to him that you and me; yet we constantly feel like God is out to punish us. Does God want you to be happy? Of course! But the real question is WHAT makes you happy?
In answering the question of what brings me joy, I'd have to say that being with my friends and family makes me happy. Moreover, there are some activities, like hiking, golf, playing my guitar, that also make me happy; but I think what I do with my family, or those activities I enjoy should be a direct reflection of my relationship with Christ. For instance, if I enjoy binge drinking, fighting, stealing, and the like, it's hard for me to believe that Christ WANTS me to do that. However, if I find joy in godly things, like growing relationships or enjoying the beauty of God's creations, and it makes me cherish and want to preserve those relationships/creations, then why wouldn't God want me to be happy? Asking yourself this questions is yet another way to do a self-assessment or spiritual gut-check to determine where your true priorities are. Better yet, look at where you spend your money each month.
In short, do I think Jesus Christ can hit a curve ball? If he can do all the things I just mentioned, how could he not?
Take care.

Are You An Unfinished Man?

2009-03-16T16:25:00.000-07:00

Although we've already touched on this issue/topic a little, I'd like to impart some of my personal experiences in the realm of being "initiated" into manhood. As Eldredge attests, the most important man-figure in a boy's life has always been his father. Despite the unfortunate growth in the "absent father" demographic, I'm proud to say that I've never lacked the father-figure in my life.
For those of you that know me (at all), my father is bound to come up at some point in just about any discussion we have. It's no secret that I have a deep, sincere love for my father, and I've often said that I am who I am because of him. Although he never taught me to fish, change the oil in my car, or tie a bowline knot, what he did teach me is far more valuable. Growing up, I learned about hard work, commitment, integrity, faithfulness, and discipline just by watching him each day. I'm not trying to put him up on a pedestal, as he's far from perfect; yet he strives for perfection and to give the Lord his all.
Honestly, it's hard for me to sympathize with someone who grew up without a father. Sure, my dad didn't make to everyone of my games, or effectively communicate his feelings; but he was always there for me. Something I wish HE could say about HIS father. One of the most tragic stories he's ever told me was being nine years old and running out to the driveway to welcome his father home after being gone for a little while. As a ran up to hug him, my grandfather stopped him and stuck out his hand. "Men don't hug, they shake hands."
It pains me to tell this story, and think of the many other ones dad's told me over the years. I just hope that none of you have these same stories. Hopefully, this book and these discussions will help us all in becoming the father we always wanted.
By the way, I'm almost 29 years old and I STILL hug my father!
Take care.

Ego Pollen

2009-03-13T14:14:00.000-07:00

In typical Wade fashion, the group is now introduced to a pretty nifty idea, ego pollen. This boy (or should I say Cowboy?) wonder managed to concoct a term that I think best describes the normal pattern of men when they transition from one stage to another. For better or worse, men grow accustomed to certain characteristics found in each phase, and naturally carry them into the next. Sometimes it's a conscious decision, while at other times it's unbeknownst to him. The obvious question associated with this notion and posited by my good friend is who should be responsible for determining which stage the man is in? What is more, who determines when he has successfully moved into the next one?
In my opinion, the most important accountability partner for a man when assessing his current status is his "inner man." While this isn't nearly as catchy as ego pollen, I think we can all learn a thing or two when letting our conscience be our guide. It's very plausible that Eldredge's lack of attention on identifying individuals who help determine where a man is in his life could be intentional, so as not to force us to seek them out for answers. Moreover, because men have different types of relationships with other men, the author might give men free reign when choosing their "masculine mentor" or "stage guide." Personally, I think it's my responsibility as a man, and child of God, to do a self-assessment, or masculine gut-check, to see where I am at that moment, as well as where I've been and want to go. Knowing the various characteristics and tendencies associated with each stage enables reflective thinking; however, this is not the only method that should be used. In scripture, Christian men are called to hold each other accountable, and this is a great method for doing so.
Example: If a particular issue or problem takes center stage in my life, I instinctively think of what I did right or wrong; yet, it's impossible for me to garner all the answers. Throughout our friendship, Wade and I have often expressed our thoughts and feelings with each other (I know this sounds kind of feminine guys, but stay with me) and what I have found is that HE has aided me in assessing where I'm successful in life or falling short. While it's easy for me to talk myself out of certain things or feel like a failure, Wade has been there to provide objective interpretation and steer me in the right direction.
So, in an attempt to answer Wade's questions, I think it's my responsibility to assess where I'm at in my life, as well as yours. A wise old sage once said you can't go through life alone. In that spirit, this group is here to help each other through [every stage in a man's] life. The best way to do this is identifying the "stage habits" in a man's life.
What do you think?

The Masculine Journey Cont'd

2009-03-12T16:08:00.001-07:00

As exciting and fun as the first three phases of a man's life might be, I think it's these last three that will really define him and determine the "legacy" we all seek to leave.
Lover - This is an area of life that men tend to either focus too much on, or completely miss altogether. Not limited just to loving the woman, this stage awakens men to the beauty of life in general; however, it is during this phase that men focus on women, particularly offering himself to her.
King - Seriously, who wouldn't want to be seen as a King??? Whatever your "kingdom" might be, this is a period where you're in charge of people, whether as a boss, father, coach, etc. You rule over these people, and they look to you for answers or solutions. Although you are seen as the "head honcho" or "big man on campus", this is a time of great responsibility and accountability. This, along with being a Lover, are two of the most tumultuous phases because the decisions you make and the actions you take can have the greatest long-term impact on those around you.
Sage - When I think of a Sage, I'm reminded of the great ancient philosophers. Men like Plato and Aristotle established much of the concepts we still use to interpret and understand the world around us. There are probably several men in your personal life, or in America, that you look to for advice. The knowledge they impart to you seems to make life easier to understand, especially when going through tough times. Their "been there, done that" advice gives you what is needed to better navigate your way through each day. Some may say that it's in the sunset of a man's life that he reaches this phase, but I say it could begin as quickly as when he moves on to the next stage.
I have now summarized the 6 stages that Eldredge ascribes to each man's life. Next, I'm going to discuss some pros and cons to them and how other men can affect how long he stays in each one. Wade has touched on this issue in his post, but I'm sure he's got even more thoughts on the matter, as this is the crux of the chapter.
FYI, another good friend and former Marine, Barrett, is joining the discussion. For his thoughts on the book, and the Wild Heart in general, you can visit his blog at:
http://veteran.typepad.com/this_veteran_life/
Take care.

Ch. 1: The Masculine Journey

2009-03-11T16:28:00.001-07:00

LET THE BLOGGING BEGIN!!!

So, are you a Boy, Cowboy, Warrior, Lover, King or Sage??? If you're wondering how Eldredge defines each of these stages in a man's life, here's a brief synopsis of each category; however, it should be noted that the author doesn't really pinpoint a certain age to each phase, but tries to narrow it down to a decade or experience.
Boy - Pretty self explanatory, since a boy is a boy. He's discovering the world around him, despite being somewhat sheltered by his parents; yet, he's allowed to act his age and discover himself with little to no consequences.
Cowboy - Throughout his teenage years into his late twenties, he begins to push his limits and prepare himself for the future. I, just like the guys Eldredge describes in the book, learned how to drive, play sports, explored the many facets of college life, and started to develop lifelong goals.
Warrior - I know what you're thinking, but just because I'm a soldier in the Army doesn't necessarily mean I'm in this stage, or that just because you're not in the military, you can't be in this stage. A Warrior, I argue, is someone who finds his passion or interests and seeks them out. It could be a career, a hobby, or simply a challenge in life that you want to conquer. Although men always want to be seen as a Warrior, this stage is more prominent in his thirties or maybe forties. He learns the rigors of discipline needed to be successful, both in life and beyond.
Before moving on to the other three phases, I want to reflect on my time as a Boy and a Cowboy. Having two older sisters, I have to admit that I was forced to play and even act like a girl, albeit very reluctantly! About the time I became a Cowboy, I was able to defend myself better and make my own decisions, but luckily those instances were few and far between. I made a lot of mistakes as a Cowboy, but ones that I think helped develop me into the Warrior I strive to be each day, but I'm more concerned about being a Warrior for Christ, not my country. These decisions will forever overshadow anything I do on the battlefield.
After you read this, take some time to think about your life during each of these three stages and maybe how they helped prepare you for the next one.
Tomorrow, I'll discuss the next three and how important they are to being a father.
Take care.

Following The Wild Heart

2009-03-08T14:53:00.000-07:00

It was shortly after New Year's in 2007 that my close friend Wade bought me a book called "Wild At Heart" by John Eldredge. This book has not only altered my life, but more importantly, my way of thinking. I can point to it as somewhat of a catalyst for getting me to where I am today, for better or worse (but mainly for the better). What Eldredge has sought to do throughout his many writings is evoke the Godly characteristics of masculinity within each man that has been long suppressed by modern culture and society.

Rather than provide a redundant summation of our relationship, I'll point you to Wade's blog http://www.tnfodder.blogspot.com/, which encapsulates just how close we've become in our roughly four years of friendship. The only thing Wade failed to mention is how much older he is than me (8 years). However, if we were standing side by side, you'd think I was older than him!

If there are still any people out there who take the time to read my posts, I ask that you also make it a point to visit Wade's because over the next several weeks, the two of us will be posting our own personal thoughts and opinions on another one of Eldredge's books, "The Way of the Wild Heart." Somewhat of an addendum to his first publication on the subject, Eldredge provides a "map" for the masculine journey. Rather than providing a step by step process that so many other authors try to propose, this author seeks to give readers "a lay of the land" and let them determine the route.

Let there be no mistake, these books are not about trying to become more manly, as guys who like to hunt, fish, watch football and drink beer aren't necessary men. Each male is divinely infused with certain characteristics that can only be found in a man of God, and it's our responsility to seek them out, not only for ourselves, but for our friends and family.

If any of you out there are interested in reading these books or just learning more about the book, I strongly encourage you to periodically visit our blogs. Both Wade and I hope to grow deeper in our faith and friendship with each other, but also provide encouragement for every man our there who wants to find what their heart is longing for.

Stay tuned, the fun is about to begin!

You'll Always Be Home Sweet Home To Me

2009-03-07T16:33:00.000-08:00

Before delving into The Way of the Wild Heart, I wanted to post a quick story about a great trip I took with my childhood friend Freight train. When I first moved to Jefferson City in 1988, Train was one of the first people I've met, and through thick and thin, we've remained good friends ever since.

Recently, the two of us did an overnighter up in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. Although we didn't get very far into the Park on Saturday, we quickly set up camp and try to build a fire. Despite the mounds of wood we'd collected, it was all too wet to burn; however, I managed to spot a downed tree that was covering a dry patch of dry deadwood and some tinder. We got enough of a fire going to cook our hot dogs, but that was about it. With our bellies warmed from the food, we hit the sack for the night.

We spent most of Sunday hiking all the way up to Thunderhead Mountain, where the Appalachian Trail runs right along the NC/TN border. Not only does this trail have a magnificent view, but it also houses some beloved UT history. The second peak of Thunderhead Mountain just so happens to be ROCKY TOP!!! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Train and I took our passion for the Volunteers to new heights (pun intended) and below is our tribute to the Big Orange.

The only person I know that's topped this is Train's mother-in-law, who hoofed a Banjo up to Rocky Top and play the greatest fight song in the country while sitting on its hallowed grounds!

Hope you enjoyed. Take care.

Happy Birthday To Them!

2009-03-05T06:27:00.001-08:00

For those of you who don't already know, today my beautiful bride turns 29. Although I'm sure not very many people would want to broadcast the infamous last birthday of one's twenties, I still think it's important to acknowledge this special day.
You might also be interested in knowing that today is her brother Jonathan's birthday....but they're not twins!!! Today is Jonathan's 32nd birthday, and these two individuals are the only ones I know that are not twins, yet have the same birthday. Pretty neat, huh? Leslie will tell everyone that she was the best birthday present Jonathan ever got, but I'm sure he'll beg to differ.
What's even funnier is that if you count back from their birthday 9 months, you come to the month of June...which just so happens to be their parents' anniversary!!! HAHAHAHA!!!
Happy birthday Leslie and Jonathan. I'm so glad I married you honey and thanks to Jonathan for keeping her alive all these years!
Take care.

EQO

2009-03-04T17:00:00.000-08:00

I believe I've mentioned in an earlier post that one of the many duties I've been assigned since returning to Post is that of the Environmental Quality Officer for the Squadron. The title alone is pretty self-explanatory, but I'm sure it's hard for many to believe that the Army even cares about the environment. Well, in some cases, it doesn't; but when it comes to CONUS installations, such as Fort Campbell, they are required to follow almost all federal regulatory policies regarding the environment.
This week I have been attending the EQO course that "certifies" soldiers to take on the responsibility of ensuring that their respective units are adherring to federal law. Moreover, we have been learning a lot about how all the various departments on the installation aid and assist in maintaining the proper procedures. For instance, you'd be surprised to know that Fort Campbell recycles its own water, solid waste, and the like. Because people, like me and the wife, live on post, there are several programs involved in providing us with the necessary amenities afforded to people who live off-post. These are things like, garbage pickup, recycling, water provision, etc. At least 1/4 of the over 25,000 people who work on this installation are in some way involved in these various services. While I could spend hours explaining all the different things that the Army does to help the environment, I won't bore you with the details. I just think it's good for you "civilians" to know that the military is doing its part in helping preserve Mother earth.
Have you hugged an environmentally conscious soldier lately???
HA!
Take care.

On My Own

2009-02-28T06:38:00.000-08:00

With the hectic-ness of work increasing, it's becoming more and more difficult for me to enjoy my weekdays, even my nights at home. To make matters worse, "Chief" the most knowledgeable person in the Motor Pool left at the end of the week to attend his Advanced Warrant Officer Course in Aberdeen, MD. This means, like it or not, I'm in control of EVERYTHING now!
This wouldn't be so bad if my only responsibility was managing the maintenance aspects of the Squadron, but last week I was assigned some additional duties that are taking up a bulk of my time each day. Officially, I'm the Squadron's RESET and Environmental Quality Officer, as well as my company's Hazardous Material and Safety Officer. RESET focuses on making sure that all the equipment we took to Iraq is cleaning, repaired or exchanged; however, I can't really list all the responsibilities of the EQO because I haven't even taken the certification course yet. I'll do that for a few days next week. The last two aren't too difficult, but also entail certification courses.
What makes all of these duties so tedious, and at times stressful, is that each Battalion/Squadron in the Brigade has to pass the Command Inspection Program, of which all of these duties are a part. This inspection takes place in April, so that means I have about 6 weeks to ensure that everyone in the Squadron (or my company) is a) aware of the standard we have to meet and b) has the time to do their part.
The most annoying part of this whole thing: it's just busy work! Are there any serious, tangible affects of my work that will lead to the success of the unit in future operations? Kind of, but now I am nothing more than a PowerPoint Ranger! That's one of the downsides of being an officer.
Take care!

Thank You For YOUR Service

2009-02-21T07:05:00.000-08:00

As a member of the military, I've gotten my fair share of "Thank you for your service" comments. It comes from close friends and family members, and even from random strangers who notice the uniform. While I don't mind getting these words of encouragement and appreciation, there are many times when I feel like it's undeserved, especially when there are thousands of other people who are doing just as much (if not more) than me; yet, going virtually unrecognized.
Such is the case for our friends the Osbornes. Rusty and Sara Osborne are a couple that Leslie and I have known for a number of years. Sara was Leslie's college roommate and closest friend during their time at CNC, while Rusty and I first met on the baseball field our freshman year. At present, Rusty and Sara, along with their two daughters, are living in Cameroon, Africa. Rusty is on a one-year teaching Fellowship at Cameroon Baptist Theological Seminary that began in August of last year. However, this is not their first time serving as missionaries, as both have expressed a strong desire in mission work for several years now. Rusty even proposed to Sara on a mission trip! Although they deeply miss their friends and family back here in the States, they have answered the greatest calling, and one that supercedes anything I might do in the Army.
Frankly, it's easy to answer the calling to serve in the U.S. military. For many, this career field is their best chance for stability; yet, serving for the sake of Christ is arguably the greatest challenge for any individual to endure. Because of their commitment and devotion to witnessing to unbelievers as well as growing and strengthening new believers, I would like to publicly thank them for THEIR service. God's love is great and so are those who answer the call to serve the Lord, wherever that might be.
If you would like to learn more about the Osbornes, visit their website at www.sendtheosbornes.com.
Take care and please pray for the safety and influence of the Osborne family in Cameroon.

Swamped!!!

2009-02-19T06:55:00.000-08:00

Quick post (because I don't have much time):

One of the extra duties of a Lieutenant is Staff Duty. This consists of being the officer in charge of the Squadron at night and on the weekends. It usually runs about 24 hours, but you still have to work the next duty day (as well as DURING your shift). My first time on Staff Duty was last Friday - Saturday. I started at 0900 on Friday and worked until 0900 Saturday. Although you're allowed to sleep, some unexpected circumstances prevented me from doing so. In short, a soldier in the Squadron died in a car accident and I was responsible for waking everyone up and letting them know what happened. From the soldier's first line supervisor all the way up to the Brigade Commander, everyone has a role to play and there is a ton of paperwork that has to be filed, most of which I had to initiate.
On top of this incident, I've been tasked to take on about 3 different responsibilities, as well as cover down for my CW3, who is leaving the Squadron to attend an Army course in Aberdeen, MD. So, I now have about 6 different tasks I have to finish in a matter of about 2 days...and none of them are easy!!!
Take care and pray for me!

My New Eyes Don't Feel So New

2009-02-12T19:05:00.001-08:00

One of the first things candidates of PRK are told is that the process of acquiring 20/20 vision takes time. Unlike Lasik, which gives you much better, if not perfect vision, immediately after the surgery, PRK can take several months to settle in. This past Monday was my one week check-up and although they documented that I have 20/25 in one eye and 20/30 in the other, I wouldn 't go that far. It's actually worse than that depending on the time of day.
You're probably wondering why chose PRK over Lasik, but as I stated in an earlier post, the long term effects are better. However, having to wait weeks, possibly even months, before getting the vision I've been dreaming about for years is a little depressing. Even writing typing this post, it's somewhat difficult to clearly see the screen. Luckily, I have steroid eye drops that I have to apply 4 times a day, which seem to help. Right now, I can see much better now that I could without my glasses, but not as good as I could with my glasses. Progress still needs to be made, but I don't think it'll be a problem for me much longer. Of course, I'm not enjoying being back at work!
Take care and happy President's Day!

Hell Week

2009-02-07T08:35:00.000-08:00

Well, I made it through the first week with me "new eyes." The surgery as a whole took no more than about 10 minutes. They instructed me to take a Valium about 20 minutes before going into the operating room, which was the pretty much the only medication I was given for the "operation." After laying down on the table, they clamped my eyelids back, squirted numbing drops in my eyes, as well as some cold water, before brushing my eyeball with some "gloop" (one of my favorite Bear Grylls words). Don't really know what it was for, but then they put the laser on my eye and the only thing I noticed was the smell of something burning...my eye!
In sum, the operation was the only painless part of the whole process. Most of this past week was spent in a sedated stooper, in which I slept, ate, took an array of eye drops and pills, and slept some more. Frankly, I don't remember much of the week, except for some intense pain in my eyes when the medication wore off. At present, my eyesight is about 20/50-60ish. It takes anywhere from a week to 3 months to fully develop my permanent vision, so I'm not expecting 20/20 for a while. However, I can definitely notice a clear difference from my previous vision. I go back to work on Monday, but has hardly been a "vacation."
BTW, I CAN SEE THE ALARM CLOCK CLEARLY NOW!!!
Take care.

Seeing The Alarm Clock Clearly

2009-01-30T10:20:00.000-08:00

Aside from my family and Freight train, there's not a single person reading this that has known me without glasses (or contacts). I got my first pair of glasses in the 4th grade, at about 9 years old. Since then, I have been dependent on them to see clearly. One of the greatest moments of my life was when I got contacts for the first time in the 6th grade. Growing up as an athlete, glasses were more of a hindrance than a help, so not having to worry about them anymore was a blessing. I'll never forget having to wear my recreation spectacles (RecSpecs) as a catcher in Little League. Every time the ball got past me (which was a lot) and I pulled my face mask off, so too went the RecSpecs. I had to squint just to find the ball up against the backstop!
Despite the plethora of inconveniences that come with having to wear glasses or contacts, just about everyone with terrible vision will tell you that not being able to see the alarm clock in the middle of the night is one of the worst. Everytime I wake up, I have to squint just to make out the numbers...and I'm not even 3 feet away!!!
I'm bringing all this up because on Monday (thanks be to God) I am getting corrective eye surgery! It's something I've deeply desired for a number of years, but haven't been able to afford. Thanks to the Army (something you won't hear come out of my mouth very often), I am getting it done for free! Of the two types of surgery (PRK and Lasik), I have chosen PRK, primarily because of it's long-term effects on the eye; however, the recovery process is longer, and much more painful. In short, they burn the top layer of the eye off before correcting the lens, and your body has to naturally recreate that top layer by growing it again. The pain has been compared to having sand in your eye or thousands of needles poking them every second for as long as four straight days! Not looking forward to that, but as long as I can endure the pain, the benefits will be well worth it.
I ask for your prayers next week as I undergo this surgery. There's a very small chance things could go wrong, but you never know that the Lord has in store for you. So, just pray for a smooth recovery.
Lord willing, the next time I see each of you, it'll be with my brand new eyes!
Take care.

Snowed In

2009-01-28T11:15:00.000-08:00

For those of you who haven't been keeping up with the weather in much of Middle TN, a nice wintery storm that has moved through, leaving just enough ice and snow to close down the post of practically all work.
It started Monday night, with ice storm warnings for roughly 12-14 hours. The rain began in the middle of the night, just as the temperature began to drop just above freezing. The rain didn't let up at all yesterday (freezing everything but the road), as we went about our daily routine on Tuesday. However, just before leaving for the day, we got an update that the our day would not begin on Wednesday until 0930 (a roughly 3 hour delay) due to snow in the forecast.
Sure enough, the snow fell and our day was pushed back to 1200 for only a brief period of time. It wasn't 20 minutes later that I received a phone call from my company commander that the post would be closed for the day!
It was a nice treat for me since Leslie also got today off from work, despite having to do some damage control this morning. She had scheduled former Navy pilot and astronaut Capt. John McBride to speak at APSU this evening, but had to quickly reschedule him for tomorrow evening instead. Now, the only thing we've got scheduled for today is absolutely nothing! I know that's hard for many of you to believe, but hopefully it'll stay that way all day!
Take care.

Got My Spurs!

2009-01-26T10:24:00.000-08:00

Well, I made it through the Dining-In ceremony with a) my dignity in tact and b) less money than I went there with! Unforunately, I cannot say the same for a handful of my peers.
Just as I expected, there was excessive drinking and "friendly" banter between the Armor and Infantry officers, as well as a plethora of "fines" for not saying and or having the required materials for the events. I guess one of the advantages of being a Loggie in that environment is you don't really have a dog in the fight and most people ignore you because you're not a "combat" officer. Frankly, I would much rather be invisible to everyone in the room if it means I don't get hazed for simply being a Lieutenant.
The only hazing I received was during the filling of the "Grog". As I stated in the previous post, the Grog is a concoction of about 10 different liquors and I was tasked with adding the Jagermeister. Each liquor symbolizes a period in our unit's military history and I was responsible for commemorating our unit's push into Germany during WWII (hence, the Jagermeister). Well, traditionally each individual is supposed to chug some of his respective beverage before pouring it into the bowl. I, however, do not partake in such an activity and was subsequently booed by the crowd for not indulging. I took it in stride and made my way back to the little corner where I attempted to hide for the rest of the evening.
The other major event was receiving our combat Spurs. This ritual consists of soldiers getting in the front leaning rest position (layman's terms, the push-up position) while our company commander slid on the spurs to our heels. Aside from being in our dress uniforms and the floor being covered in spilled Grog, it wasn't too disconcerting.
All in all, it wasn't the most miserable night of my life, or even my time in the Army; yet, it was nowhere near as exciting as a nice, romantic evening with the Mrs.
Take care.

Going Out To Dine-In

2009-01-23T09:59:00.000-08:00

One annoying aspect of being a officer is that most senior leadership love to get together after hours and watch their subordinates get hazed and make complete fools of themselves. In particular, most units have a Dining-In ceremony upon returning from a deployment to "celebrate" their successes and the fact that they made it back alive. However, if you're like me and don't like to socialize with co-workers after hours, you look at this more as an obligation than a "celebration." For those of you who might think I'm being a little cynical, below are some of the festivities included in tonight's event.
We poor about 10 different alcoholic beverages together in a big bowl to be consumed by all the "drinkers" in attendance, perform skits to poke fun at each other, and sing songs to which we hardly know the words. Although we will be receiving our combat spurs, it's done in a hazing, condescending manner. It probably wouldn't be so bad if this were optional, but when you're FORCED to be there and to make matters worse, WE HAVE TO PAY TO GO!!!
I spent most of my college years in a fraternity, so I've experienced my fair share of hazing; however, I was 19 years old and didn't have a beautiful wife at home who I'd rather be spending time with. When you're closing in on the big 30, it's not as exciting and fun. Just hope I don't get my dress uniformed ruined tonight!
Please pray for me!
Take care.

The Bargain Shoppers

2009-01-20T14:47:00.000-08:00

For those of you who know Leslie and I, we're not the kind of people who have to go out and buy the newest versions of stuff. Frankly, we try to be very modest in our possessions and this is simply a result of the way we were raised. When it comes to household furniture and appliances, we are pretty meticulous about making a new purchase and are willing to wait for the right deal to come our way. Well, the week was the culmination of a few big purchase items and I'd like to share them with you.
About a year before we got married, Leslie's parents gave us a nice cherry wood four post bed frame for us to use when we tied the knot. However, Leslie already had a bed frame, so I was the lucky recipient of this family heirloom. Since I didn't have a mattress or box spring to go with the bed frame, I went out and bought the most expensive one I could afford, for about $250. If you know anything about mattresses, that amount of money is practically chump change for a queen size. Yet, my beautiful bride and I spent the first 4 1/2 years of our marriage on this old mattress...until last Tuesday. After much research, we came across a nice Simmons BeautyRest mattress for less than $600!
Our next big purchase was a new computer. To make a long story short, my grad school computer tanked right before I left Iraq and Leslie was using a computer her parents bought her in 2000! Once again, we did our research and got a great HP computer for less than $500. I have to credit my dad, the ultimate electronic bargain shopper, for his guidance and expertise in all things technological.
Lastly, I upgraded my favorite musical instrument, the acoustic guitar. My wonderful mother bought me a good, inexpensive guitar in college. After our union, Les brought to our household possessions a guitar she bought in college as well; however, mine had a lot more miles on it. So, I'd been switching back and forth between them for the past several years. I'm not saying that I plan on starting a band or anything of the sort, but should the need ever arise for me to have an acoustic/electric guitar, I wanted to be prepared. On Sunday, Les and I stopped by a Guitar Center store in Nashville, and it just so happened they had a SLIGHTLY damaged Yamaha acoustic/electric guitar for just $110! It was about a $150 markdown, so I ceased on this bargain and plan to sell the two I have to offset the cost.
I hope this post isn't seen as too "materialist" or even a holier than thou, thumbing of the nose at those of you who take pride in our possessions. My only intent is to show just how God has blessed our family during these times of economic unrest. None of this was put on credit (all cash baby), but it wouldn't have been done without patience and diligence. Thanks be to God for the provision!
Take care.

DONSA

2009-01-19T10:10:00.000-08:00

Every month, Fort Campbell has established a 4 day weekend, also known as Days Of No Scheduled Activity. Because of the federal discretionary holiday of MLK day, I have enjoyed a long weekend of no work. It started out with a 14 mile hike in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park with my best friend, Freight train (not his real name, just a term of endearment). Aside from the one other person we came across, I firmly believe we were the only two people in the whole Cades Cove area, mainly because the temperature was in the single digits! Train and I made it through the day with little to no trouble despite the cold, although the hose on my Camelbak was frozen for the first half of the trip!
Saturday was a day of rest and relaxation for the wife and I, while yesterday was consumed by a trip to Nashville to see a good friend get baptized in the morning and some window shopping the afternoon. Les and I were able to satisfy our slight crab addiction with dinner at Joe's Crab Shack. Good stuff!
Today is yet another day of R&R, with a few miscellaneous errands scheduled; however, I cannot help but be consumed with the media coverage of the life and times of Martin Luther King Jr. While some view this holiday as just another day off from work, others honor this human catalyst for racial change in America. Furthermore, tomorrow we will bear witness to this man's legacy by the swearing in of our country's first black President. I pray we never stray from honoring, not on MLK's birthday, but also the dream he shared with this great nation.
By the way, please don't look upon our "luxurious" monthly 4 day weekends as an advantage to being the military, as we are almost guaranteed to work at least one weekend a month too!
Take care and may God continue to bless the legacy of Martin Luther King Jr.

Commuting Nightmare

2009-01-13T13:13:00.000-08:00

Rather than delving into my daily schedule and giving a brief synopsis of what I'm doing, I feel it important to describe my daily commute. While one might think that living on post and being only about 5 miles from work means a very brief drive to work each day, you are SORELY mistaken and here's why:
For some crazy reason, the military decided long ago that it was "unproductive" and "too civilian" to workout in the afternoon, or at least begin work after the sun comes up. So, my mornings start around 0530 (or what I call 0 dark 30), with my first meeting of the day beginning at 0600. As previously stated, I only have to go about 5 miles, but that's on a two-lane road with the speed limit ranging from 25-35 mph. Moreover, I go through 5 traffic lights and one very...very...very congested 3 way stop. What is more, practically everybody from both the 1st and 2nd BCT (which are right next to each other) are on the road trying to get to work as well! As a result, the 20 minutes I allocate for my commute are at times insufficient.
After our first formation of the day at 0630, we conduct our daily PT routine until 0800. Although I'm not required to be back at work until 0930, roughly 30 minutes of the 90 minutes we get for personal hygiene and breakfast is spent trying to get back across the post to my house. Sure, I could take a shower in the gym (which we're not allowed to use during PT), but about 35% of the roughly 2,000 men in the brigade are also using it to get ready for work. So, it's a no-brainer that I come home and get ready for work!
While there are both advantages and disadvantages to living on post, one significant advantage is the ability to go home whenever the need arises. I spend my lunch break at home, as well as any down time I might have during the day. But regardless, I still have a nightmarish commute each morning!
Take care.

Back To Work

2009-01-11T07:18:00.002-08:00

Ok, ok, I admit it. I've been a little TOO lazy over the past month and haven't taken the relatively short amount of time to update anyone on how things are going. Thankfully I've been able to see most of you who read my blog, and should thus be up-to-date on me and the wife. However, I feel it necessary to briefly recap my period of "Block Leave" that the Army gave me shortly after returning from theatre.
On 5 December, the 2nd Brigade Combat Team began its 30 day period of leave, in which I felt compelled to make ANOTHER trip across the Atlantic (although it was under much better circumstances). This time accompanied with the wife, we backpacked across portions of France and Italy for about 11 days. For a more in-depth synopsis of our journey, I'll once again refer you to her blog (www.tnarmywife.blogspot.com). I signed back into the unit on 17 Dec; yet, the only work-related requirement I had was to show up for morning formation at 0630, which only occurred about 5 times thanks to the 4 day holiday weekends we got!
A couple of trips to Knoxville and Bartow, FL (Leslie's hometown) rounded out the rest of our travels over the holiday season. My four favorite f-words (Family, Friends, Football and Food) consumed a large portion of this time and the good Lord blessed us with safe travels all throughout.
This past week, unfortunately, our Brigade was required to return to work. The consensus among all my soldiers and peers was that the break went by way too fast. Luckily, we are slowly transitioning back to Garrison life. This term simply means work at home station. For those of you interested in knowing what this time consists of, that will be the main focus of my blogs this year. With the war on terror going on 8 years now, it's much easier to see what life is like during a deployment; however, I feel that the daily operations of life in Garrison also warrant attention and discussion. For that reason, I hope to continue my pursuit of shedding light on life in the military, both at home and abroad. This might not be nearly as interesting and informative as my time spent in Iraq, but hopefully it will show you how much time and effort is put into recovering after a deployment and then preparing for the next one, whenever and wherever it might be.
Hope the following posts are worth reading and please let me know if there's anything else you'd like to know.
Take care and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

'Tis The Season...To Be Lazy!!!

2008-12-26T11:25:00.000-08:00

I know it's kind of unlike me to go over 20 days without posting, but the laziness of the holiday season has managed to dissipate, not only my desire to exercise, but also my desire to do something as easy as type a "public email update." My apologies to all three of you (if there's even that many) who have been checking my blog almost everyday this month, but I just decided to take it easy!
However, if you are wondering how the trip to Europe with the wife was, please check her blog (www.tnarmywife.blogspot.com) as she has been more motivated to post about the many wonderful sights we saw and the food we ate. Don't ask me where she's getting the energy to do this, as we've both been sitting on the couch most of the holiday break; but it looks like she was on the laptop doing something productive while I was taking catnaps.
Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas holiday and already have your New Year's Resolution list taped to the fridge!
Happy Holidays and take care.

2008-12-05T06:51:00.000-08:00

Europa

After 7 days of reintegration (minus the 4 day weekend we got for Thanksgiving), Leslie and I are about to head out on our celebratory excursion to France and Italy!
For those of you wondering what my "re-integration" program consisted of, it was nothing more than annual check-ups on medical, dental, personnel, and finance related issues. When a unit deploys, soldiers are basically re-stationed from Ft. Campbell to Iraq during the deployment and the re-re-stationed (?) back to the post upon their return. In short, we had to change all of our files to show that we are no longer in theater. Luckily no day lasted longer than a few hours and I was back at home for lunch everyday. Other than getting up at about 0515 every morning, it wasn't that bad of a process. Now Leslie and I can enjoy the fruits of our labor for the past 5 months with a trip BACK across the Atlantic (at least for me).
A customary policy within the military is to grant a period of roughly one month of optional leave to personnel who have been deployed for any length of time. Known as Block Leave, soldiers can take up to 31 days of consecutive leave days before beginning the "Reset" phase of a deployment life cycle. So, for the entire month of December, we do not have to work...well, those of us that are taking time. The only catch is that we are not just given 31 days of FREE leave; instead, we are required to use our regular leave days, or as many as we have accumulated. Active duty military personnel are given 30 days of leave every year, so if you've been deployed for a year, you're are essentially using up all the leave days you received while deployed. HOWEVER, if you took the maximum 18 day R&R leave while deployed, you really only have about 12 days to use. As a result, if soldiers don't have at least 21 days of leave (you are allowed to go in the hole up to 10 days), you can't take the whole month off. Such is the case for me, since I took about 3 weeks off after graduation from Officer Basic Course in Maryland before arriving at Ft. Campbell. Therefore, Leslie and I are only going on a 12 day trip and will return just in time for the holidays.
I hope this update finds all of you doing well and looking forward to a wonderful holiday season with your families. I seriously doubt that I'll be able to post an update while on our trip, because we'll be in the midst of enjoying some AWESOMENESS!!!
So, until then, I bid you a farewell.... and take care!

One In The Books

2008-11-23T12:52:00.000-08:00

Around 10am CST, I arrived at the Fort Campbell airfield to a host of eager 101st family members, including my wife and mother. It was such a good feeling to have the support of such a large group of people immediately after getting off the plane. Our welcome home ceremony consisted of a 3 minute speech by a General Officer, followed by the singing of the 101st Airborne and Army songs.
We were given about 15 minutes with our families before being whisked away on buses to the Squadron area, where we turned in our weapons and other sensitive items before grabbing our bags. I was chauffeured back to the house by my beautiful wife and am now about to pass out in front of the computer. It's been a long 64 hours since I left Iraq, with very little sleep and many thoughts of being reunited with loved ones. All of that has finally come to pass and I can now enjoy some down time with my wife and the television. I would like to thank all of you who followed me throughout this experience and the prayers you offered on my behalf. More to follow on the future of the blog; but for now, I'm just trying to enjoy catching up with, in the words of Golf Analyst/Comedian David Feherty, "She Who Must Be Obeyed".
Take care.

Last Minute Reflections

2008-11-19T08:44:00.000-08:00

As of right now, we have a "soft time" for when we're supposed to depart. This simply means a tentative flight time, but it should turn into a "hard time" over the next several hours. While the exact time is still unknown, but could be within the next 24-36 hours (again, just a tentative timeline).
Much of my time over the past several days has consisted of watching movies, working out, a little reading and a fair amount of sleep. However, I find myself reflecting on what I've seen and experienced over the past several months. Although I wasn't here for the entire deployment, and showed up after the most intense fighting our Squadron has seen, I can still say that I came, I saw, and I actually got a t-shirt (that I had to pay for). I was able to experience some things that most other "Loggies" will never do. I went on the patrols with each of the 4 line units and got a sobering look at the realities of war. Some images will forever remain with me, for better or worse; but, most of all I have realized the importance of living life, regardless of the outcome. So far, I've made it through this deployment unscathed and have much to be thankful for. As I prepare to redeploy back to the States, just like those who have gone before me, a piece of me will remain here. It's tough to go to war and come back the EXACT same person you were before you left. I have changed, but I believe for the better.
Look forward to seeing many of you soon.